Wedding expedition

Couples find advantages in taking their nuptials on the road.

By LOGAN D. MABE, Special to the Times
Published June 3, 2007

	The balmy breezes of the Caribbean draw wedding couples to an array of island destinations, such as this beach on Aruba. Planners say a destination wedding can thin the guest list. Check out these dresses from Target
[AP hoto]

ADVERTISEMENT [AP photo] The Bellagio and other Las Vegas resorts are popular with couples who want a different setting for their vows. Some destination weddings can cost less than the more traditional version, planners say. [AP photo] A staff member turns down the bed in a guest room at Skibo Castle, near Dornoch, Scotland, which hosted the wedding of Madonna and British movie director Guy Ritchie in 2000.

LAS VEGAS

From the neck up, she looks like Wedding Barbie. She has upswept blond hair, a two-hour (at least) makeup job, and the unmistakable my-God-what-have-I-done expression on her flawless face. - From the neck down, she looks like she just came from the gym: gray cotton shorts, T-shirt and flip-flops. In her wake is a phalanx of attendants, including a gray-suited giant of a man who looks like a Secret Service agent. Today, his job is to escort the wedding dress to its destination. - She's on her way to get married at one of the two wedding chapels at Las Vegas' Bellagio resort. But as with most places in Las Vegas, she must go through the pop and buzz of the casino to get there. - It takes a lot to distract a gambler with $1, 000 riding on the next card, but the bride does it. People look up from their games and let loose with aw-shucks-ain't-that-sweet grins. - She marches on to her future. The gambling class gets back to its own work. So goes a typical scene from the world of the Destination Wedding.

Making memories

More and more, couples are eschewing nuptials at the family house of worship in favor of the splash and glitter of a wedding at some faraway paradise. True, it's more difficult to get their nearest and dearest to attend - but that fact can be a draw for couples who don't want the stress of a big event.

"I've been doing weddings for 20 years and from what I've seen over the past decade the whole industry has shifted from hometown, homespun weddings to destination weddings, " said JoAnn Gregoli, a New York wedding planner and co-author of The Knot Guide to Destination Weddings (Clarkson Potter, 2007, $19.95).

"You only get married once (or sometimes twice) so why not make it a memorable occasion, " Gregoli said.

Why not, indeed? There's no reason that rank-and-file lovebirds can't enjoy the splendor of a getaway wedding like the celebrities we routinely see in People magazine.

Golfer Tiger Woods and former model Elin Nordegren got hitched in Barbados (which isn't exactly equal distance from Elin's Swedish homeland and Woods' digs in Central Florida). Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes exchanged vows at the Odescalchi Castle at Lake Bracciano in Italy. Actors Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner were married at the Parrot Cay resort, Turks and Caicos, in the Caribbean.

Celebrities aside, Stella Marusak of New Port Richey was leery of hosting a destination wedding for her daughter Kim at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas.

"Originally the wedding was going to be at my house, but my husband passed away recently and she thought it would be too stressful and decided to go somewhere they could enjoy themselves. I told her, 'If it's going to make you guys happy, then that's what we'll do, ' " Marusak said.

They let the resort take care of most of the details and saved about 30 percent over what they would have spent at home.

And did the 43-person bridal party (down from the original 80) have fun?

"It was tremendous, " she said. "Definitely something to remember."

Sites to see

Geography may be the most important - and most flexible - element of a destination wedding, said longtime St. Petersburg wedding planner Sally Crumbley. "A destination wedding can be wherever you're not from, " Crumbley said.

Gregoli said she shepherds a lot of weddings for New York couples in the Sunshine State. Other popular destinations include California's Napa Valley ("A little bit of Italy without leaving the country, " she said), mansion-heavy Newport, R.I., and Colorado.

"Wine, sun, mountains . . . you have a little bit of everything. What's not to love about that?" Gregoli said.

International top spots on Gregoli's Atlas of Amore include the Caribbean, Italy, Spain and Greece. Paris may be the city of romance, but French residency requirements make it a tough place for a destination wedding.

Variable costs

A destination affair can actually cost less than a traditional celebration, given that you can get away with a far smaller guest list - or even no guests at all.

According to Brides magazine, the average cost of a wedding in the United States is about $23, 000 to $25, 000.

Take that same wedding (figuring on about 30 guests, barbecue on the beach, fun and frolic) to Great Exuma in the Bahamas and it runs $15, 000 to $20, 000 depending on a multitude of variables.

Take that same wedding to Sorrento, Italy, where the dollar is much weaker than it is in the Bahamas, and you're looking at $30, 000 as a baseline. "Everything is going to be at least one-third more in Italy than in the Bahamas, " Gregoli said.

The biggest cost-saver with a destination wedding, Gregoli said, is the size of the guest list. Have it in your back yard and everyone is going to show up. Take it on the road and only the people who really, really want to be there make the trip.

A world of choices

Weddings away from home are increasingly the choice for second-time-arounders, said Kristin Ciccolella, co-founder of WedAlert.com, which assists couples with wedding planning.

"The trend that I'm seeing is that brides and grooms that are slightly older, perhaps in their mid 30s and on their second time around, are ditching the traditional 'I dos' and going for a getaway, " Ciccolella said. "It's just more fun, and much more cost effective because they're not renting a reception facility, they're getting married on the beach and then afterwards it's not an elaborate sit-down dinner. You just invite people you want to have around you and enjoy them."

Ciccolella, who recently returned from Mexico as a guest at a friend's wedding, said some sites that are showing up on her radar include Cabo San Lucas, Costa Rica, St. Barts, Anguilla, Aruba and Las Vegas.

With the whole world to choose from, Ciccolella says that for her own wedding, she wishes she had opted to get away rather than stay.

"When I married, it was a big, fancy dog-and-pony show that your parents want and expect, " Ciccolella said. "But if I did it again, absolutely I'd do a destination wedding."

Same goes for Gregoli, who wrote the book on destination weddings. Her own marriage, which was held "at the church down the street, " is a successful union that has lasted 20 years and produced six children. Still, she has one regret.

"If I did it again, it would be Lake Cuomo in Italy, " Gregoli said. "With the food and the vistas, that would be my choice, hands down."

Logan D. Mabe is a former St. Petersburg Times reporter. He has been married twice; the last time was a destination wedding in his back yard.

THE BASICS

Get help

The services of a planner are usually including in wedding packages. If not, earmark about 10 percent of your budget to hire one. She can shoulder the burden of researching and securing local vendors, especially valuable if there is a language barrier. She is also the behind-the-scenes queen, creating gift bags for guests, greeting everyone at the airport, keeping people busy with activities once there, vetting special requests (babysitters, dry cleaners, and so on), and getting everyone where they need to be on time.

Take a test drive

Unlike a wedding in your hometown, guests are dependent on you once they reach the destination. Make sure you provide transportation to and from the airport, as well as to all the events of the wedding. Insist that bus drivers do a dry run of the route so they don't get lost between the ceremony and reception. You might want to schedule events, such as spa treatments or golf games, for your guests.

Take a trip

You'll need to scout and secure your key venues - church, reception area, hotels, rehearsal dinner venue - and local suppliers such as caterers, florists and photographers if you're planning the wedding yourself.

BYOP

Bring your own pros. Don't hesitate to fly in talent you trust from home for photography, hair and makeup, and decor design (lighting, flowers). These people can work with local vendors in a supervisory capacity to avoid mishaps.

Warn your friends

Tell your bridal party about the destination before you ask them to stand by your side so that they can gracefully decline if finances are tight.

Get a grip

Don't be upset if some of your closest friends or relatives don't attend. Though you are, in a sense, footing some of the food bills, their fees for travel, hotel and car rental can add up, especially for a family. And though your wedding is a minivacation for you, it may not be the one they want to take.

Mother Nature

Consider the climate when choosing your gown. You'll be swimming in sweat if you pair your fairy-tale satin ball gown with tropical humidity. Whether your dream location is specifically a beach or simply outdoors, dress for no stress.

Call on a courier

Make a plan for wedding presents. If you've got a ton of wedding gifts to take home, ask if someone who lives in your city can take them back. Or, pack an extra duffle bag to bring them home yourselves. Figure this out before the wedding so you'll have a plan of action if you need it.

Source: www.theknot.com

Helpful Web sites

-bestweddingsites.com

-weddinglocations.com

-weddings.about.com

-topweddingsites.com

[Last modified May 31, 2007, 13:34:26]