Parcells' price worth it, if he wins

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© St. Petersburg Times
published January 17, 2002

Some day, he will scorch the earth. You have been warned.

Some day, in the not too distant future, he will leave the building and you will notice the room has been trashed. The future will look hazy. The cap will be pushed. The sky will be dark.

That's the thing about Bill Parcells. The guy comes with warning labels attached. The faint-hearted need not let him apply.

There are those out there who would caution Tampa Bay's fans at this point. Be careful of what you wish for, they would say, because eventually, the rent comes due. The question isn't whether Parcells will come, they point out. The question is how long he will stay.

Such are the voices of the scorch victims in his wake. Ian O'Connor wrote it for USA Today. Gary Myers wrote it for the Daily News.

Both point to history. To date, Parcells has walked away from every team he has coached, and he has left ash and rubble in his wake. To date, he has left every NFL team that has a "New" in front of it. The New York Giants. The New York Jets. The New England Patriots. Next up: The New Tampa Bay Bucs.

More and more, you hear it. The guy coaches under a wandering star. By the time you get comfortable with him, he'll be uncomfortable with you. Two years, maybe three. And when he goes, there will be an unacceptable replacement left to deal with a shredded salary cap.

Tampa Bay's response:

So what?

Around here, people aren't worried about what Parcells leaves behind. They're worried about what he's bringing with him. When planning a party, no one worries about hangovers and messy rooms. Just what kind of champagne to bring.

Look, Braveheart ended badly, too. But that doesn't mean William Wallace wasn't a legend right up to the final scene. If Parcells can produce what the Bucs expect him to produce, he'll be worth cleaning up after.

Is he perfect? Of course not. He is 60, and no one is silly enough to believe there will be a 10th anniversary. Then there is Parcells' grump factor. If the guy happens to be in a bad mood, he'll share it. He is prickly, combative, manipulative, controlling.

Yes, there is a price to hiring Parcells. Is he worth it? It depends on what you get. It's up to Parcells to make this worth all the turmoil.

There never has been a change as drastic as the one in front of the Bucs' locker room. From Tony Dungy to Bill Parcells. If you are a Bucs player, you are going to need asbestos aftershave. He never met a face he wouldn't yell into. From time to time, he wants to be somewhere else. From time to time, he makes players want to be anywhere else.

All of that said, no one ever denied this: The man can coach. Parcells is one of those rare men who can find the different buttons to push for different players. He'll bully this guy, and he'll put his arm around that guy, and he'll make the special players on his team one of "my guys."

He'll adjust -- he won with defense with the Giants, with offense with the Patriots, with mirrors with the Jets -- to what he has. You could make a grand argument that no one ever did a better coaching job than Parcells did in winning his second Super Bowl in Tampa when his Giants beat the Bills.

Get ready. Parcells will stomp and snap and snarl and swear. He will prod and push and plot and provoke. He will question talent and commitment and passion and, in the case of Terry Glenn, gender.

And he will win.

For now, that's all you need worry about. Don't worry about how long the trip will be. Just worry about where it goes.

Parcells is the only answer for the Bucs now. Question his conduct over the past few weeks, as several coaches have. Question the longterm future of the franchise. Question his history of wanderlust.

The Bucs have made their bed, however. Parcells is the only defensible choice. If he says no, the next best option is to chase Tony Dungy down and tell him it was all a gag. Good luck with that one. If you see Dungy in the street, you should greet him with one word: Congratulations. Before long, Dungy will have a new team, with a bigger contract, with a fresh canvas and with owners less likely to go behind his back.

In his wake, we are left to ponder Parcells, flaws and all.

Okay, okay. We get it. This will not be a long marriage. Parcells won't last forever. He might be replaced by a choice as uninspiring as Ray Handley or Pete Carroll or Al Groh. The day he leaves, someone will need to bring a broom.

Okay, fine. We've been warned.

With Marty Schottenheimer and Jim Mora being the other bachelors, you'll take your chances with the Tuna.

In the end, will Parcells have been worth the trouble?

Depends on how many rings are in the rubble.

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