Word for Word: More than ordinary words can say

From "The Don Martin Dictionary," published in the Journal of MADness (Issue No. 11), a fanzine of MAD magazine.

Martin's slapstick cartoons appeared in 30 years of MAD from 1957 to 1987. His clown-footed, monotoothed characters endured myriad indignities, for each of which Martin created a unique, onomatopoeic sound effect.

The dictionary runs 32 pages and contains approximately 1,400 entries. There are duplications. For example, in 1975 "SKWEEK SKWEEK" was the sound of someone cleaning out Lincoln's ears on Mount Rushmore, but in 1982 "SKWEEK SKWEEK" described the sound of a peg leg being unscrewed.

Generally, though, Martin displayed virtuosic variety. He devised 13 ways to articulate the sound of an airboat ("SPROWMMM," "CHIKA CHUNK" and "KALLOON") and another 13 sounds for a snake charmer's flute ("FWEEP," "BRAP" and "SKWONK").

Here is a small sample of the rest. Journal of MADness is edited by John E. Hett of Dearborn, Mich.; the e-mail address is jmadness@hotmail.com.

-- BILL DURYEA, Times staff writer

POiNK! -- Dart hitting boy's forehead

POiT! -- Fat woman's bottom dislodging from escalator top step and rail

BPLFLT! -- Man's head squashed by a large-bottomed bus rider

ARARGH! -- Large gorilla growl

ARARAGH! -- Large lion in gorilla suit growling

SCHLOOP -- Patient's arm being retracted into shoulder

SCHLIP -- Patient's leg being retracted into hip

SCHLAP -- Patient's head being retracted into shoulders

ZIT-SREEK SKRAK ZIDIT-POW -- Drilling through ceiling into human head with drill dying

DOIP -- Eye popping out

BLIT -- Eye being vacuumed

POIT -- Eye being released from vacuum

SCHLOOT -- Flattened human body folding

FLOT -- Flattened human body folding

FLIT -- Flattened human body folding

FLADAT -- Flattened human body folding

SSAT -- Phone book-shaped flattened human body creasing at the spine

CLIK-CLIK-CLIK-CLIK -- Running up concrete steps

TIKA TIKA TIKA TIKA -- Running down wood steps

SPLOOSH -- Man hitting water in bottom of well

KWEEK! KWEEK! -Nostrils flaring

SKREEEEE -- Camel coming to a quick stop

CRUNCHLE -- White man running through woods

HUSHLE -- Indian running through woods

SHTIK FLIK GLUT -- Frog catching fly

KLiK-SPROING -Ape unlocking top of its head

SPAMAMP MABBIT FLABADAP GONK -- Runners crashing into a stone wall

SHKLiTZA -- Flower squirting water in man's face

SHKLIKSA -Clam squirting man in face

SHKLURCH -- Hippie squeezing food out of beard

GLINK -Flying toenail landing in can of beer

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