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© St. Petersburg Times, published January 24, 2002
From "The Don Martin Dictionary," published in the Journal of MADness (Issue No. 11), a fanzine of MAD magazine.
Martin's slapstick cartoons appeared in 30 years of MAD from 1957 to 1987. His clown-footed, monotoothed characters endured myriad indignities, for each of which Martin created a unique, onomatopoeic sound effect.
The dictionary runs 32 pages and contains approximately 1,400 entries. There are duplications. For example, in 1975 "SKWEEK SKWEEK" was the sound of someone cleaning out Lincoln's ears on Mount Rushmore, but in 1982 "SKWEEK SKWEEK" described the sound of a peg leg being unscrewed.
Generally, though, Martin displayed virtuosic variety. He devised 13 ways to articulate the sound of an airboat ("SPROWMMM," "CHIKA CHUNK" and "KALLOON") and another 13 sounds for a snake charmer's flute ("FWEEP," "BRAP" and "SKWONK").
Here is a small sample of the rest. Journal of MADness is edited by John E. Hett of Dearborn, Mich.; the e-mail address is jmadness@hotmail.com.
-- BILL DURYEA, Times staff writer
POiNK! -- Dart hitting boy's forehead
POiT! -- Fat woman's bottom dislodging from escalator top step and rail
BPLFLT! -- Man's head squashed by a large-bottomed bus rider
ARARGH! -- Large gorilla growl
ARARAGH! -- Large lion in gorilla suit growling
SCHLOOP -- Patient's arm being retracted into shoulder
SCHLIP -- Patient's leg being retracted into hip
SCHLAP -- Patient's head being retracted into shoulders
ZIT-SREEK SKRAK ZIDIT-POW -- Drilling through ceiling into human head with drill dying
DOIP -- Eye popping out
BLIT -- Eye being vacuumed
POIT -- Eye being released from vacuum
SCHLOOT -- Flattened human body folding
FLOT -- Flattened human body folding
FLIT -- Flattened human body folding
FLADAT -- Flattened human body folding
SSAT -- Phone book-shaped flattened human body creasing at the spine
CLIK-CLIK-CLIK-CLIK -- Running up concrete steps
TIKA TIKA TIKA TIKA -- Running down wood steps
SPLOOSH -- Man hitting water in bottom of well
KWEEK! KWEEK! -Nostrils flaring
SKREEEEE -- Camel coming to a quick stop
CRUNCHLE -- White man running through woods
HUSHLE -- Indian running through woods
SHTIK FLIK GLUT -- Frog catching fly
KLiK-SPROING -Ape unlocking top of its head
SPAMAMP MABBIT FLABADAP GONK -- Runners crashing into a stone wall
SHKLiTZA -- Flower squirting water in man's face
SHKLIKSA -Clam squirting man in face
SHKLURCH -- Hippie squeezing food out of beard
GLINK -Flying toenail landing in can of beer