Candy for driver's eyes; lights on; stop, please

This has absolutely nothing to do with Pinellas County, but we just have to share. Jessie spotted it last weekend during a family outing.

Apparently there was some sort of major golfing event in the Naples area. Some very thoughtful folks -- the state roadies, perhaps -- had placed electronic message boards along Interstate 75 to indicate which exit led to the tournament.

The trouble was, the word, "Tournament," wouldn't fit across the sign, so an intrepid speller improvised. The signs read, "Golf Turnimint."

Perhaps this is the way the word is spelled in Naples, but it looked pretty funny to us.

Had anyone asked us, we would have suggested that the sign say, "Golf Tourney," or "Golf Event."

Or maybe, it occurs to us at this very moment, a Turnimint is a new brand of candy.

This item is something I generally mention early in June, as we prepare to drive into our subtropical rainy season. But we have had more than our share of foggy, misty, drizzly days of late, so it's worth mentioning now, as well.

If it's wet enough that you have to turn on your windshield wipers, it's probably dark enough that you should turn on your headlights, too. Not your parking lights. They don't have the power to penetrate the gloom. Even if it isn't raining hard, water thrown up by tires is sufficient to block parking lights.

There is a move afoot among auto manufacturers to tie wipers and lights together, so that when the wipers go on, the headlights come on automatically. But until that is done, if it is ever done, the responsibility falls on us drivers.

It's a simple thing: If you reach for your wipers, reach for your headlights next.

And we thank you.

This week's Carbungle comes to us from Tom Ammerman of Seminole, and we think he makes a valid point.

Whatever happened to the concept of turning right on red after coming to a full stop? That's the law -- not that we're foolish enough to think anybody cares about the law. I sit at intersections all the time and am amazed that some people don't even slow down -- let alone stop -- before making the right turn on red.

Whatever happened to standards, people?

One sure sign that somebody doesn't have enough to do.

The American Road & Transportation Builders Association has informed us that American roads have had a major impact on pop culture (we always try to bring you news you can use).

For example, ARTBA (pronounced Art-Buh) tells us that there are at least seven road song classics:

On the Road Again, by Willie Nelson

Life is a Highway, by Tom Cochrane

King of the Road, by Roger Miller

Long and Winding Road, by the Beatles

Thunder Road, by Bruce Springsteen

Take Me Home, Country Roads, by John Denver

Get Your Kicks on Route 66, by lots of people.

ARTBA also was gracious enough to include the titles of its Top 10 road movies, too, which include none of the ancient Bob Hope/Bing Crosby films. We won't divulge them all, but the list includes The Grapes of Wrath, Easy Rider, Convoy, The Cannonball Run and Thelma and Louise.

That's enough of that.

Muriel Schumacher of South Pasadena points out something this week that we hadn't noticed before, but now that we know it, we find it vexing. Exit 15 from northbound Interstate 275 to Gandy Boulevard makes no mention of the fact that this is the way to the Gandy Bridge.

The exit signage doesn't even say that this is one possible route to Tampa.

If you believe the signs, the only places you can go from Exit 15 are to Seminole and Pinellas Park, both of which are west of the Interstate.

Apparently the state roadies who designed the signs felt there was no place worth going east of the Interstate.

Are we trying to hide the Gandy Bridge and the Lee Roy Selmon Crosstown Expressway in Tampa from visitors and other strangers to the county? One would have to think so since the first sign carrying the Crosstown decal is on Gandy Boulevard eastbound by Dr. M.L. King (Ninth) Street N. And it's so faded you can't read what it says.

Since the roadies are swapping out all the old exit signs for new ones as they change the exit numbers, perhaps they could correct this little oversight at the same time.

While we're dealing with interstate fun, let us offer the Eyeball Jiggler of the Week.

It is, fair reader, at the top of the entrance ramp onto northbound I-275 from 54th Street N. The pavement bumps and rolls like a blanket that Jessie has rooted around in to curl up and sleep.

It is so bad that several cars ahead of us actually slowed down to traverse it, something we almost never see. So forewarned, we slowed as well. But even at a scant 8 mph, it was uncomfortable.

Beware.

Terrible Traffic Tidbits will return in two weeks.

For that matter, Jessie and I also will return in two weeks.

-- Dr. Delay can be reached by e-mail at docdelay@sptimes.com, by fax at (727) 893-8675 or by snail mail at 490 First Ave. S, St. Petersburg 33701.

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