Top 10 tips to reduce workplace rudeness
© St. Petersburg Times
10. CEOs: Bless those pros at Enron. Sell personal shares in sagging company at the same time you sincerely promise higher stock prices ahead during employee meetings.
9. Vice presidents: After firing assistants for your own shortcomings, remember to say "Have a nice day!" when security escorts them out the office door.
8. Department store clerks: Stare customers straight in the eyes when lying about how great they look in store's latest fashions. Snicker only after sale is final.
7. Sales reps: At fancy business lunch, order entree the same color as tie so anything that falls out of your always-open mouth won't leave visible stain.
6. Branch staffers: When leaving fifth unreturned voice-mail message at home office, be sure to use the word "Please" before each and every "%*!%&" expletive.
5. Office workers: In meetings, be sure to interrupt each person at the table by barking in an equal manner to avoid any appearance of discrimination.
4. Cubicle drones: Always set cell phone that rings to It's A Small World at highest volume so everybody in room can sing along with tune.
3. Help desks: After putting desperate customer on hold again, limit coffee break to 20 minutes before getting back on the line. Supplying answer is optional.
2. Telemarketers: Call same people at home mercilessly, so you know when to catch them sitting down to dinner. Extra points for holidays.
1. Drivers: Make sure speeding company vans with bumper stickers asking "How's my driving?" are missing last two digits of toll-free number.
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