The doughnut diplomat

[Times photo: Bill Serne] Bride Mary Dunham and groom Richard Giglio don paper Krispy Kreme hats after their wedding reception at the Museum of Fine Arts in St. Petersburg on April 20. Harvey Bailin, in red bowtie and suspenders, delivers Krispy Kreme doughnuts as wedding favors to area receptions.

By JOHN BARRY
© St. Petersburg Times
published April 27, 2002

When Harvey Bailin pulls up at your wedding reception in his Krispy Kreme PT Cruiser, he comes as an ambassador for another institution as well: marriage.

The blond is pouring out of a short black dress like champagne from a split. She has tipsily wobbled out of a Saturday night wedding reception at St. Petersburg's Museum of Fine Arts, where she and 190 fellow partyers have partaken of bubbly and wedding cake slathered in chocolate-dipped strawberries. Now she is crouched beside Harvey Bailin's PT Cruiser, which is painted like a Krispy Kreme doughnut box, and is kissing, full on the mouth, Harvey's insouciant basset hound, Woody.

Woody is no corporate dog, no canine babe magnet for a doughnut conglomerate. He goes with Harvey and Lyla Bailin on their wedding runs, but Woody is Harvey's dog. His kids bought Woody about two years ago to give their old man, who is 73, some exercise.

Now Harvey, Lyla and Woody are always on the go. A bridal magazine last year carried an item suggesting Krispy Kreme doughnuts as funky wedding favors, prompting brides to call Krispy Kreme, prompting Krispy Kreme to seek among its ranks someone who would don red bowtie and suspenders, load up the Cruiser, and deliver doughnuts to receptions. For 50 bucks a wedding.

Lyla Bailin

Harvey Bailin stepped forward. Which was just like him. He is officially Krispy Kreme's "vice president of institutional sales," but since he hooked up with the company eight years ago -- two weeks after his 65th birthday "retirement party" -- he has been Krispy Kreme's ever-willing troubleshooter.

It was Harvey's idea to bring Lyla and Woody along to wedding receptions. Unintentionally, but intuitively, he presents young brides and grooms with an image of a 47-year marriage that he and Lyla describe as, if not perfect, proudly enduring.

As Lyla puts it, "It's a give-and-take marriage. I feel at times I take a lot."

Saturday night, the Bailins have won the crowd's hearts. Moments after the blond kisses Woody, they are engulfed by tuxedos and gowns. Everyone, including the bride, Mary Dunham, has a paper Krispy Kreme hat on, and a mouthful of glazed doughnut.

One large tuxedo points a camera at Harvey: "Lemme take a picture of you with da doughnut 'ting dere."

The crowd, aglow from the champagne, takes up a chant.

"HAR-VEY! HAR-VEY! HAR-VEY!"

Bride Mary Dunham was delighted Harvey brought Woody. She didn't know about his long marriage, but they are kindred spirits. Harvey believes that a "home is not complete if you don't have a dog."

She and her new husband, Richard Giglio, were walking their own dogs, two Great Danes named Allie and Ashea, when Richard proposed nine months ago.

"We were walking downtown," she said. "He tried tirelessly to find a nice bench, then he finally found a nice area by a fountain.

"He made the dogs sit. And he got down on one knee."

Mary, marketing director for a health-care company, was a bridesmaid six to eight times before she met Richard, an attorney. Mary waited a long time for the right guy, and the right wedding, even if it would cost $25,000. She's a traditionalist: She wanted a church ceremony, with seven groomsmen and seven bridesmaids, and a sitdown dinner. She wanted to be driven away afterward by horse and carriage.

Harvey would insure she got the one other thing she wanted:

A finale that "people wouldn't forget."

Harvey tries to brush off questions about his own wedding.

Let's talk about the product, he suggests. He is holding forth at a Krispy Kreme shop in Clearwater, where dough dumps out of a giant vat into what looks like the Gloppity Glop Machine in the old Jack Lemmon movie How to Murder Your Wife. Glazed doughnuts come out on a conveyor belt. Right off the belt, they literally melt in your mouth. "I eat doughnuts every day," says Harvey, who has a small spare tire. " When I'm out selling, I eat six to eight Glazed Originals a day.

"And if I'm having a down day, I have a Bavarian. That's a custard doughnut."

Finally, Harvey struggles to describe his wedding in Cleveland. "It was a traditional wedding," he says.

And?

"It was in a hotel."

You wore a tux?

"Yeah."

And Lyla?

"You know, a bridal gown."

What was the reception like?

"We had fish and roast beef."

Later on, Lyla laughs softly when she's told Harvey's description of their wedding day.

"I don't know why he said that," she says. "We got married in the rabbi's study. We didn't have much. I wore a dress and matching coat. He wore his suit."

The marriage was hard. They lived in Minneapolis, Duluth and Cleveland, had three kids -- Annie, Jill and Jeff -- and a Dalmatian and a St. Bernard. Harvey traveled a lot as a salesman of outerwear, fashion-speak for garments like wool overcoats and ski jackets. The job took him all over the world, and his long absences from home took their toll.

Harvey: "We had difficult times, but we had a strong desire to make our life work. We did it with the help of God."

Lyla: "I guess it all falls around family. Family has been my whole life. I took raising the children as a real responsibility. I would give up anything for them."

Harvey: "She helped me through a lot. I owe it to Lyla that she held our marriage together. Difficult things became easy."

The Bailins had one marriage ritual they adhered to religiously:

"We scrimped to buy a Savings Bond with every paycheck," Harvey said. "$18.75 every paycheck. That bought a $25 Savings Bond."

Lyla recalls withdrawing all the Savings Bonds when they retired to St. Petersburg. "We went to the vault at the bank and got them all out. There were so many I thought the girl at the bank would have a heart attack."

That's their nest egg.

An $18.75 investment every paycheck over a 47-year marriage can eventually add up to a lot of happiness.

Harvey is a world traveler once more, but now he is taking Lyla with him to show her all the places she missed while she raised the kids. They've already been all over Asia and Australia. Next year, they're going to Russia and Scandinavia.

Harvey says he's learned that the secret of a long marriage is "being a true friend and putting your partner first in your life. That was the hardest part when I was always away. I'm trying to make up for that."

The Krispy Kreme wedding business shouldn't interfere too much. Harvey is getting lots of calls from brides right now, but you know how those things go, Lyla said. "One day it'll be old hat." Then brides may be calling Ronald McDonald.

Krispy Kreme needn't worry about Harvey.

En route to China last year, the Bailins made a stopover at an airport in Korea. Pizza Huts and Burger Kings may span the globe, but there are still places where the masses are deprived of little Krispy Kreme, including Korea. Harvey, fortunately, happened to be carrying several samples, which he brought into the terminal.

"No one spoke English," Lyla said. "Harvey put the boxes on the table, and they just shook their heads at us. Then one man tapped me on the shoulder and tried one.

"He smacked his lips. Suddenly, everybody wanted one."

The moral of the story: All resistance to doughnuts is futile.

Even where dogs are concerned.

"I've never had a dog as difficult to train," Harvey said, talking about Woody. "Unless I hold out a doughnut, and then he'll roll over for me.

"But just on one side."

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