Rays tales

© St. Petersburg Times
published May 12, 2002

TUNE IN: The Yankees have debuted the YES (Yankee Entertainment and Sports) Network, which shows Yankees games, highlights and features 24 hours a day. We couldn't help but wonder what the programming would be for a similar Rays network:

Great Moments in Rays History: Includes the inaugural 1998 game, Wade Boggs' 3,000th hit, and . . . and . . .

Profiles in History: Features on great Rays from the past. Today's installment: Kevin Stocker. Tomorrow: Paul Sorrento. On deck: Danny Clyburn.

Farm Report: Bobby Seay, the Sixth Year.

Where Are They Now? A look at some former Rays. Today's installment: John Burkett, taped at 2001 All-Star Game. Upcoming: Vinny Castilla, taped at 2001 NL playoffs; Bobby Witt, taped at 2001 World Series.

Happy Hour: Quips, jokes and smiles from former manager Larry Rothschild (may run short).

Vince's Greatest Hits: Excerpts of Vince Naimoli's most famous comments, including the "What is a Devil Ray" speech at the 1995 expansion announcement, the 2001 Hawaiian shirt goodbye, and assorted other exchanges with civic, business and baseball officials.

Replay of today's game -- about 3 hours.

Rays' highlights -- about 3 minutes.

Designated for Assignment: Interactive show allowing viewers the chance to play general manager. Today's mission? See how many ways you can bring back and get rid of Bobby Smith.

Overnight infomericals: How to Run a $100-million Business on $34-million . . . What To Do When Your Partners Are Out To Get You . . . Double-sided Copies -- The Key To Success.

OUCH: Final results from an ESPN.com poll Thursday had to hurt at One Ray Place. Of nearly 90,000 respondents to the question "Which pro sports franchise is most inept?' the Rays were the overwhelming "winners" with 36.9 percent of the vote. The NFL Bengals (27.9) were next, followed by the NBA Clippers (16.4), NFL Cardinals (12.8) and NHL Lightning (5.7).

THE ORIGINALS

Last week's release of Smith leaves three players in the organization from the 1998 opening day 25-man roster. Of those 25, only 12 still are in the majors:

EXCERPTED

From Bill Simmons' column on ESPN.com: "Have you ever been flipping channels late at night and stumbled across one of those low-budget soft-core porn movies on Cinemax where ... there are no stars, no plot, no semblance of hope, no chemistry, nothing? That's the Devil Rays. They're a 25-man car wreck. I wish I could adequately describe the feeling of watching TV at 7 p.m. wondering, "Hey, who are the Sox playing tonight?,' happily tuning to the Sox game ... and seeing Jason Tyner just as he's in the process of botching his 100th consecutive drag bunt attempt. It's the TV equivalent of getting kicked in the groin."

ONLINE ITEM OF THE WEEK

An RC Cola can featuring Hal McRae as a Royals star was listed on eBay for $2.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"I'm not very gimmicky."

-- McRAE, on methods to help end the losing streak