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© St. Petersburg Times, published June 5, 2002
WILL YOU BE FLYING HATHA CLASS OR TANTRA?: JetBlue Airways now offers an inflight yoga program. The other airlines do, too, but they continue to let us refer to it as contorting ourselves into impossible positions to fit into a seat and employing whatever means necessary to develop a mind-set for enduring the flight.
To further its ruse, JetBlue has put in the pocket of each seat back what the Miami Herald calls a lighthearted yoga instruction card done in partnership with Crunch Fitness. The card will have four poses passengers can reach without leaving their seats.
BRING YOUR OWN BOXING GLOVES: In case the yoga doesn't help you get through your JetBlue flight stress-free, the airline plans to install eight punching bags at its terminal at New York's John F. Kennedy International Airport.
The bags will have sayings on them like: "Traveling with your boss?" "Forget your toothbrush?" "Leave the iron on?"
"It's kind of a spoof and a laugh at air rage," JetBlue spokesman Gareth Edmondson-Jones tells the Herald.
Here are Sideshow's suggestions for bag sayings: "Security guard insist your key chain in the shape of a rectangle is a nail file?" "Ticket-counter worker pat down your 1-year-old?" "Get five reasons from five people why your flight was canceled?" "Seatmate a heavy snorer?" "Flight attendants lose your vegetarian, no-salt, no-preservatives, organically grown meal?"
AND THE BRIDE WON'T WEAR LEATHER: New York Post gossip queen Cindy Adams swears she has cut through the subterfuge and secrecy to obtain the real details about Paul McCartney's upcoming wedding to Heather Mills:
Sir Paul and his not-too-thrilled children are inviting a select group to his marriage to late-wife-Linda lookalike Mills on Tuesday at Castle Leslie, north of Limerick, County Monaghan, Ireland. Private reception to follow. If you don't like vegetarian, BYOM (bring your own meat).
POUND FOR POUND, THERE HAVE BEEN WORSE IDEAS: One Irish boy band that's huge in Britain but over here can't give away CDs with a bonus "God Bless America" bumper sticker isn't waiting for a British music embassy to help its cause. Westlife has decided the key to making it big in the United States is losing weight.
The band's five members have been put on an intensive five-week diet because they've gotten too flabby eating junk food on their European tour, London's Daily Mirror says. They think this will increase their heartthrob status, thus enabling them to quickly make adolescent American girls not care whether Lance Bass goes into space, takes the rest of 'N Sync with him and never comes back.
THE WAY HE MAKES HER FEEL: Brooke Shields says she considers herself an expert on gays because in her single days she dated at least one: George Michael.
"And don't even get me started on Michael Jackson," Shields adds, according to a San Francisco Chronicle report on a Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation dinner Saturday in San Francisco.