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Breaking par no longer biggest mini-golf obstacle

Each week this summer, Times staff writer Emily Nipps will attempt an off-beat sport or attend a unique event.

A well-known fact about miniature golf: It is much more fun if you are 8 years old.

And even that point can be argued, given that most kids would prefer to play Mario Golf on Nintendo than the real thing.

This doesn't mean miniature golf is a dying sport, although Tampa folks apparently don't appreciate it as much as they used to. The Yellow Pages list two existing miniature golf courses, and one bills itself as a driving range and pro shop.

Still, somebody is keeping these places in business. It's probably somebody who doesn't feel like driving to Pinellas County, where there are a zillion courses.

There used to be two competing courses on Busch Boulevard, but Tampa's Congo River is no longer there. (Who needs miniature golf when there is a Tanganyika Tidal Wave across the street?) Good old Putt-Putt still stands, though, and it hasn't changed in years.

This might or might not be a good thing.

Don't let the life-sized giraffe and elephant statues near Putt-Putt's entrance fool you. There are no gimmicks or safari stunts at this course. No chomping clowns, no creaky windmills, no man-made rivers. Just pure putting, with the occasional wood blocks or metal bars serving as obstacles.

The Putt-Putt has three courses to choose from (easy, medium and hard) and par is 2 on every hole. Each green is framed by orange metal rails that clang loudly if you're too heavy-handed.

Putt-Putt is fine for short-game practice, but if you're in the mood for, say, African folk music and stalactites, you'll have to do the driving.

Clearwater's Congo River Golf (the same course that used to be on Busch Boulevard) is the ultimate kid course, where reading the greens doesn't matter as much as keeping your ball from falling off a jagged cliff.

Numerous props keep each hole interesting, be it putting through a cave or on the deck of a shipwrecked fishing boat. Each green is well-groomed and each hole is designed with the explorers Henry Stanley and David Livingstone in mind.

The history lesson might be lost on small children, but within each golf game is an "exploration game" treasure hunt. If players can find several hidden items, such as a canoe or a snake, they'll win Congo River scratch-off tickets.

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I found all the items. The canoe and hat are at hole 2, the snake is at 7, the mask is at 11, the spear is at 12 and the shield is at 15. Hope I didn't ruin it for you.

Famous for the Osama bin Laden target on its driving range, Ace Range Golf & Batting Practice Center is actually more fun than it appears at first glance.

In fact, there is something comforting about the small course with its tacky decor and playground effect. Nothing says Florida like a big, peg-legged pirate, faded pink flamingo and ferocious shark.

It's as if you're a kid again on family vacation. Except you're a grown-up, and you're in Brandon.

The course starts out easy and gradually gets more challenging as the threat of water (think blue Kool-Aid) becomes more of a hazard. This is when the various fishing nets start to make sense, and players are encouraged to use them to retrieve floating balls.

Just don't get the water on your clothes, unless you are wearing electric blue.

-- Emily Nipps plays miniature golf anonymously and can be contacted at (813) 226-3368.

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