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World Cup sound bites

Random observations while flipping between the Spanish and American versions of the U.S.-Germany match, hoping mine eyes can see the glory if the land of the free and home of the brave can beat Germany:

Poor Jack Edwards, the maligned ESPN play-by-play man who has been savaged for his cheesy closings. Sure, he kind of deserves it for his rehearsed giddiness, but here's hoping he stays in his skin at the end of this one.

The kickoff; let the flopping begin.

The United States is pressuring Germany and coming oh so close. Luckily, I have seen most of the chances on Univision, which is 10 seconds ahead of ESPN's feed. So I hear the passionate calls the way they should be done then switch to ESPN to hear it in English.

I don't understand a word on Univision, my World Cup guilty pleasure, but I don't need to. I can feel it.

"Donovan goes nutmeg!" Nutmeg? I'll assume that means dribbling the ball through someone's legs, as Landon Donovan just did.

Edwards and Ty Keough probably explained this before, but one more time wouldn't have hurt. I bet there were many novice bandwagon viewers tuning in for the first time.

Not that I'm one of them or anything.

Germany's Michael Ballack goes down in a heap after a midair "collision," and I use the word loosely based on the silly flopping everyone does.

But Ballack actually has a nick under his eye, becoming the first player this World Cup to actually be hurt after theatrically hitting the ground.

Just a few minutes after Keough praises Eddie Pope and compares the busy German keeper Oliver Kahn with the as yet untested Brad Friedel, Germany scores, pressures Friedel during the rest of the half and Pope disappears.

The call of Ballack's goal on Univision is "goooal-goooal-goooal" ... 11 times followed by one long goooooooooal for good measure.

On ESPN, Keough says, "For the U.S., disappointment because they knew this was coming."

The cross that led to the goal sailed over the head of a weakly jumping Tony Sanneh and right under Friedel's hand, who refused to leave his line for a ball he could have had in the air.

But both escape criticism by the consistently pro-U.S. Keough and Edwards.

Boy, if Jeff Agoos had been involved ...

We're in the second half, and an apparent handball prevents a U.S. goal. What goes around comes around, Edwards suggests, because Mexico cried about the same call in its loss to the United States.

Keough, though, enlightens us: "If the ball played him, the ref is not supposed to call it."

Best line, by Keough: "Reyna appears to have gotten off scot-free ... no pun intended," after Reyna avoided a foul from Scottish referee Hugh Dallas.

Oh, God! Tragedy strikes as German midfielder Jens Jeremies is shot! On live TV! The man is shot! One minute, he's trying to get up, and then he's clutching his stomach and writhing in incredible pain. And it looks bad, and he could die. Who could possibly have pulled the trig ... oh, wait, he's getting up ... never mind.

I'm pretty convinced soccer is 50 percent skill, 50 percent faking fouls to get free kicks near or in the box.

Ten seconds left ... it's almost over ... shhhhh ... here it comes ... Edwards' final U.S. call.

Red, White and feeling Blue?

It was a Star Spangled Banner World Cup?

Edwards: "The run is over. Germany is relieved to have beaten the U.S. Germany goes to the semifinals. The U.S. is out."

Oh.

Well, so am I.

Adios.

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