The rain drain, seat belts and the thump of funk

Tampa columnist HOOPER E-mail: Click here Archive

© St. Petersburg Times
published June 26, 2002

Afternoon showers were flooding the streets of Tampa, and the traffic lady on the radio said avoid driving.

Of course, my wife couldn't avoid coming home, so she floated through the lakes surrounding her West Shore office, got to the hacienda without paddles or a boat motor and declared it was time to buy an SUV.

There goes my CD-buying money.

I can't understand how a summer shower can create so much havoc in a town that sits on a peninsula. Should a trip from Vinyl Fever (I only bought one CD, honey) require a gondola?

If we can put a man on the moon, create cell phones and spend $52-million on a street trolley (man, that trolley sure is an easy target), can't we solve the riddle of drainage?

My wife (and women everywhere for that matter) also wants someone to create panty hose that don't run, but that's another story.

The point is if the city of Buffalo doesn't shut down every time they have a little snow, why does Lake Azeele (the Azeele-Armenia intersection) form every time we have a cloudburst?

Preaching the merits of wearing a seat belt, Florida Highway Patrol Trooper Reginald Edwards said about a dozen things that resonated with the employees of EPIX, a human resources outsourcing company in East Tampa.

Edwards, who spoke as part of the company's safety week, had a rapt audience. The story of the woman who died after her car was rear-ended by a car going 5 mph made you realize anything was possible, and the "seat belt convincer," a machine that simulates the sensation an individual would experience in a traffic crash both with and without a seat belt, was a graphic illustration.

"I've seen more than I've wanted to see," said Edwards, a 16-year veteran.

Yet the image I walked away with was worse than those. Edwards said parents whose infants are killed in car accidents because their kids are not in child safety seats can be charged with manslaughter. To have your sorrow coupled with an arrest is all too frightening.

Since it is National Safety Month, remember that free safety seats are available through a number of sources, including FHP. And with four out of five seats improperly installed, troopers will ensure yours is strapped in properly.

My friends call my car (when they're not calling it dirty) the time machine, and those who truly love old school funk even say it with affection. I almost always have something like Funkadelic, Cameo or SugarHill Gang bumping in my ride.

This, of course, explains the trip to Vinyl Fever and the excitement I have for Saturday's Old School Dance being sponsored by the Sickle Cell Association of Hillsborough. It starts at 9 p.m. in the Tampa Letter Carrier's Hall (3003 Cypress St.), and door prizes will be given for the best outfits from the '60s, '70s and '80s.

Keep that funk alive.

Sure, the seat belt convincer made you think twice about speeding down the highway without being strapped in, but something far more influential has me buckling up.

Every day I go through the tollboth of the Lee Roy Selmon Expressway, the friendly face of state trooper Charlotte Thompson (what do you mean a trooper can't look friendly?) has me snapping the buckle.

Thompson, a 40-year-old grandmother of three, is an actual trooper. But as a former teen model she was a natural for the poster. She also was part of a Verizon wireless campaign supporting cell phone safety on the highway.

You can shock people into the realities of wearing seat belts, but I prefer Thompson's smile.

That's all I'm saying.

-- Ernest Hooper can be reached at (813) 226-3406 or Hooper@sptimes.com.

© 2006 • All Rights Reserved • Tampa Bay Times
490 First Avenue South • St. Petersburg, FL 33701 • 727-893-8111

Contact the Times | Privacy Policy
Standard of Accuracy | Terms, Conditions & Copyright