Side Show

MONEY MATTERS: Maybe Martin Sheen's salary wasn't the impetus for Rob Lowe's leaving The West Wing. Maybe it was the cover of the latest issue of Details, with Friends Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer on the cover with the words "Are these guys worth $72,000,000?"

It's one thing to see a co-star's salary triple (as Sheen's did recently, to $300,000 an episode) while yours doesn't budge. It's another to be publicly reminded that even if you were bumped up to that level, you'd still be making $700,000 an episode less than each Friend ($1-million for each of 24 episodes).

Hollywood salaries can make you laugh or cry (or indignant; most of us give at least one Emmy-worthy performance a day as a matter of survival). This latest round of money follies sent Sideshow on a random comparison quest:

The real president of the United States: $400,000 annually.

Major pro sports leagues' average seasonal salaries: basketball, $4.2-million; baseball, $2.4-million; hockey, $1.43-million; football, $1.1-million.

Baseball's highest-paid player this season: Alex Rodriguez, Texas Rangers, $22-million.

Average U.S. household income: $57,045.

Average Florida teacher salary: $38,230.

Plastic surgeons' average base salary: $306,047.

Accountants and auditors' median annual salary in 2000: $43,500.

Former Enron CEO Kenneth Lay: $67.4-million in salary, bonuses and restricted stock from Dec. 2, 2000 to Dec. 2, 2001.

SO HAPPY TOGETHER: Reports are that Jennifer Lopez and Cris Judd have reached an agreement that will get him out of her way before what would have been their first wedding anniversary (and the reports are that she is being very good to him because she didn't bother to get a prenup). This has made J.Lo and Ben Affleck confident enough to start making out in public. While dining out Monday at a high-profile restaurant in New York, they weren't shy about kissing and being "touchy-feely" with each other, New York's Daily News says. See, guys. It pays to take out full-page newspaper ads declaring your admiration.

SOMETHING FOR THE LITTER BOX: Dogs have Scooby-Doo. And Lassie. Blue's Clues. Pluto. Goofy. Hong Kong Phooey. Wishbone. . . .

Yes, dogs have had lots of TV time devoted to them. Not so for cats. Not that cats would care.

The Meow Mix people care, however. They're trying to put together a half-hour show for cats of "squirrels, bouncing balls, birds and all the things cats love to watch," CEO Richard Thompson says.

Proving that some sanity remains in broadcasting, Thompson hasn't been able to sell the idea to a network or syndicator. That hasn't stopped him from conducting a nationwide search for cats and people to populate the show, including the " Vanna White of cats" to host it, he tells the Associated Press.

DR. EVIL STRIKES AGAIN: Now Elizabeth Hurley has something else to blame ex-boyfriend Steve Bing for. Her cameo in Austin Powers in Goldmember was cut because test audiences didn't think she was funny enough, London's Sun reports, and friends say she wasn't funny because the scene was filmed while she was breaking up with Bing, later determined to be the father of the child she later determined she was pregnant with.

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