Will I ever be safe again?

I am sitting here remembering, like everyone else, what happened this time last year, Sept. 11, 2001. I was in school, and the news blasted like a bomb exploding loud and clear over the intercom.

The television in the classroom was turned on, and I sat in a stupor for several hours. We were not dismissed from class immediately, nor was anyone sure of the protocol for what to do next. Never in my life have I felt that adults who were supposed to be in charge had no clue how they or we were to proceed.

This is what I want to talk about today. On Sept. 11, I started questioning a lot of what I thought were givens. I have asked myself: What is really different today vs. a year ago? Are the adults clearer as to what to do if this were to happen again? What if the terrorist attacks were more widespread and were in many of our hometowns and not just in a few isolated places? How do we know we are not still training and assisting terrorists in other venues to attack us when our guard is down? Have the measures we've taken to be safer in our great country really made us safer, or are we just trying to sell a safer image? Then there's the really big question: Will I ever be safe again?

I am not sure when I realized that safety, at some level, is only an illusion. Our parents do what they can to keep us safe, but the truth is, we still cut a lip getting out of the pool, even as they watch. We fall off our bikes and skin our knees. We cut ourselves with those sharp scissors that were put out of our reach on a high shelf. We play sports and get hit in the face with the ball. We break an arm or leg fooling around with our friends. We have car accidents and get bruised and battered. We get illnesses that make us very sick, sometimes requiring surgery.

Some kids even die, and their parents can't keep it from happening. The truth is, we are never far from danger, and no one has ever been able to keep us 100 percent safe. That's just great. But the events of 9/11 made safety, or the lack of it, take on a new meaning for me.

How will I be safe in an unpredictable and unsafe environment? How can I get on with my life in the midst of knowing there is no place to find total safety? I choose to LIVE LIFE! I will not let the scary events of the past control me today. I will not let the potential for danger keep me from going out of my house each day. I will do all I can to keep myself safe, which is what my parents have tried to do all these years.

I do have choices in all this. I am deciding now what risks I will take. I will continue to choose my friends carefully and ask questions when I am uncertain about our plans. I will decide if I give into peer pressure when it comes to drinking, drugs, sex, unsafe driving and other risky behaviors. I choose to go to school and get an education so I will be better informed about happenings in the world.

I choose to live life and not yield to unknown fears that always will be around the corner. How about you?

- IT! (Private thoughts of the Indomitable Teen) is written by Cecilia Tucker under the editorial guidance of a panel of teenagers (in exchange for pizza and volunteer hours). Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist at the Counseling Center for New Direction in Seminole. Comments are welcome. You may write c/o: IT!, Xpress, the Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731, or e-mail Floridian@sptimes.com. If you are interested in being on the teen editorial panel, please contact Cecilia Tucker at revcecilia@msn.com.

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