Trying to make sense of random bike lanes

We have a lot to cover today because we've been gone for a couple of weeks -- and please don't say anything if you didn't notice that we were gone. Jessie's psyche is very fragile.

Stephanie Cain of St. Petersburg -- who identifies herself as a pondering motorist, bicyclist and occasional pedestrian -- points out with some amusement that the city has provided a very cute little bicycle lane on Third Street S from 22nd Avenue to Fifth Avenue. It is beside the northbound lane.

But there is no reciprocal bike path by the southbound lane.

So how does one who bicycles dutifully from 22nd Avenue to Fifth Avenue get home again? You can't take the northbound bike lane south because of all these arrows painted in it indicating that it is for northbound bikes only.

And, heaven forefend, what if you have to bike from 22nd Avenue to, say, Central? The bike lane stops at Fifth.

Well, you can either get off and walk your bike on the sidewalk or move into a traffic lane and take your chances.

This is only one of many bike lanes that seem to appear out of thin air and disappear a dozen blocks later. It's nice to have them where they exist, but it seems that many of them don't actually take us anywhere. Another of the little quirks associated with life in southern Pinellas County.

Jessie only rides her tricycle in the driveway.

Have you noticed how teeny, tiny traffic circles are popping up all over St. Petersburg like acne on a teenager?

Well, that's an unpleasant analogy.

How about, like fleas on a dog?

No, Jessie doesn't like that.

Well, whatever. They're all over the place serving no discernable purpose that we can identify. The city says they are traffic calming devices (don't you just love that term?). We think they're sort of ugly and a pain in the neck. Not to mention that they're all-time champion Eyeball Jigglers if you happen to run over one.

Jim Marshall directed us to two of the newest. One is at the intersection of 68th Street and 32nd Avenue N, a totally residential area that you'd have to be nuts to speed through because of the condition of the intersections along 68th Street. Not only are they badly crowned, each intersection has rows of serious potholes on the north and south sides, testimony to how many cars have bottomed out.

So why add to these natural calming devices a teeny, tiny traffic circle with weeds growing in the center?

Eyeballing this one made it clear that people either didn't see it in the rain or in the dark, or simply didn't care that it was there. Tire tread marks streak the concrete lip where some motorists went over instead of around.

The other little circle is on 83rd Avenue N near 12th Street, also in a residential neighborhood. This one is appended with two adorable orange and white sawhorses with yellow flashing lights, nestled among the weeds inside the circle. When we passed by, however, the flashing lights weren't flashing; so really, what good do they do?

We have asked the good St. Petersburg road mavens what they are trying to accomplish, and we shall bring their responses to you as soon as they reach us.

In the meantime, watch out.

Here's one for the state roadies to check. When you leave northbound Interstate 275 for eastbound Gandy Boulevard, there is a very short runup lane before vehicles from the interstate merge left into through traffic on Gandy.

Yet there is an extended gore area on the side of the road. That is crosshatched asphalt that you aren't supposed to drive on. Beyond the gore area, a right-turn lane begins for traffic onto Frontage Road.

So our question is, why not eliminate the gore area and create a right turn lane that extends all the way from the interstate exit to the Frontage Road turn? As it stands now, if we're headed for Frontage Road, we have to merge left into Gandy traffic and then move back to the right into the right-turn lane.

Traffic headed to points beyond Frontage will have to merge anyway, but the less traffic that has to shift lanes, the safer everyone is. Merging would be reduced by giving Frontage traffic its own option.

Think about it.

And now (drumroll, please), we bring you the Eyeball Jiggler of the Week.

It's in Pinellas Park on Park Boulevard. Middle lane, eastbound, at 78th Street. There's a hole in the road that's a toothbreaker if you hit it at any speed. And unless it's rush hour, drivers carry plenty of speed down that stretch.

Beware or be jiggled.

Those of you living in the Tryone area are groaning already about the construction work on Tyrone Boulevard. We wish we could tell you the pain will be brief, but it won't. This work won't be done until December 2003 or later.

The improvement projects include: concrete work on Tyrone and asphalt work on the service roads; repair and replacement of storm sewer pipes and inlets; repair of damaged curbs, medians and sidewalks; new mast arms for traffic signals; and improved transit amenities.

It's an $11.6-million job, and you'll thank the state roadies for it when they're done.

Most of the really disruptive work will be done at night; and for those of you who ride buses, schedules are not expected to change.

Dr. Delay's Terrible Traffic Tidbit of the Week:

And this is a strange one. The federal roadies tell us their surveys indicate that four out of five Americans support increased enforcement, and tougher laws to protect them and their families from intoxicated drivers.

We suppose the remaining one of the five was in no condition to answer the question.

-- Dr. Delay can be reached by e-mail at docdelay@sptimes.com, by fax at (727) 893-8675 or by snail mail at 490 First Ave. S, St. Petersburg 33701.

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