I hate picture day

Every year about this time, students get forms to fill out for ordering those infamous school pictures. What an awful way to start the year, not only with my friends, but with my parents. I bring the form home, put it on the counter and hope we don't have to discuss the details about which packet we will purchase, why we need that many and which relative gets the 8x10 of me!

The issue becomes more complicated for the students whose parents are divorced because there is the additional question of who will pay for what and who will get which photos. I am sure the photo company loves these complications because it is the one ultimately receiving the benefits, i.e. money.

I am not sure why school pictures ever got started. I think this is called profiteering: offering a pricey service for convenience's sake and marketing it in a coercive way, like "MEMORIES." After all, who doesn't want memories?

After the family discussions, the real conflicts start between my parents and me. First, we have to discuss what I will wear. I thought I had finished grade school and I could select my clothing, but it seems on picture day that all the rules change. For some reason, I have to wear what they want me to so my picture will impress aunt whoever and not embarrass my parents. It's a heated discussion.

All I want to do is dress the way I like, even if my aunt is disapproving and my parents are embarrassed. They let me decide my attire on the other school days. Why do they want me to be something I am not on picture day? I never decide beforehand what I will wear the next day, but that is not acceptable on this "special" day! I start panicking trying to find the perfect clothing. You have to look just right because it feels like everyone in the whole world will be seeing your picture.

Next, we have the hair fight. Girls seem to have to do their hair the way someone else tells them, and guys always have to have a haircut. The color of hair on this day becomes an issue, too. We are expected to have our natural hair color even though some of us choose to change it the rest of the year. I want to look like myself, not the person everyone wants me to be. It seems the adults in the world want to remember us as "normal" on this day, even though that might not be who we are the rest of the year.

When people ask me why I wasn't smiling in the picture, I want to say that's the one thing I had control of on picture day. The real me never showed up to have my picture taken, so why be happy with myself and smile? You see, every part of this "special" day is controlled by an adult, even telling me what emotion to express as they snap my photo: "SMILE"!

Why smile? I am not particularly happy with the clothes I am wearing or with the way my hair looks, which for many teenagers constitutes how we feel about ourselves on any given day.

I will spend the rest of the semester convincing my friends that my parents aren't in full control of my life. The day after picture day, I will go back to wearing my usual attire, and my hair will be the way I like it. I am sure when I look back at my yearbook when I am older, I will have a good laugh. I know this because I have seen my parents' pictures in their yearbooks. What funny looking pictures! Surely that wasn't how they really dressed. Was that their real hair? I hope not, because they looked ridiculous! I wonder if their picture day was any different from mine?

- IT! (Private thoughts of the Indomitable Teen) is written by Cecilia Tucker under the editorial guidance of a panel of teenagers (in exchange for pizza and volunteer hours). Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist at the Counseling Center for New Direction in Seminole. Comments are welcome. You may write c/o: IT!, Xpress, the Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731, or e-mail Floridian@sptimes.com. If you are interested in being on the teen editorial panel, please contact Cecilia Tucker at revcecilia@msn.com.

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