Xpress: If my shoes could tal

If my shoes could tal

By CECILIA TUCKER

The status symbols of my generation are not only clothes but also SHOES. Sounds stupid, doesn't it? But it's true. I don't think teenagers are the only ones with this shoe fetish. When is the last time you looked in your own closet? I know my feet are still growing and yours are not, but come on. You have more shoes than you need, don't you?

And might I add: It seems the shoes you wear have to be a certain brand. Maybe this is a slight exaggeration, but shoes are a big deal in our family. You are probably laughing and wondering where I am going with this stupid topic. Stay with me.

Why is everyone getting worked up about shoes? Not everyone grew up having to wear uniforms, but those of us who did started realizing our shoes were a statement of our individuality and not a part of the uniform (except, perhaps in military schools). Shoes come in many styles, colors and designs. The brand names of shoes are known universally, and the cooler you are the increasingly important your shoes become.

It is so obvious when people are trying to change their place in the group. They will often start with new shoes. If you want to be a leader, you have to make the steps clear. Shoes set the path. Eye contact is difficult for some teens. Since teenagers spend a lot of time looking down, shoes are about as far down as anyone can see. Consequently, shoes speak volumes.

Dirty shoes may indicate the wearer is unkempt. Old shoes may say the person can't afford to buy new ones. Out-of-style shoes tell others you are not keeping up with the crowd; you may be a misfit. It may also mean you prefer your own style. Clean shoes tell the observer you can afford new shoes when you choose, indicating you have money. New shoes allow you the potential to become the standard setter and might open the door for you to be more popular, at least for one day. When I wear brand-name shoes, I let everyone know I am cool and that if they want to fit in with me, they will look like me.

Stupid, huh? Not at all. This is not about shoes. It is about not wanting to look different from anyone else. I need more than two pairs of tennis shoes. I need to feel good about all of my attire, not only what I wear on my feet. I don't want to look different from everyone else, even though I do want to be my own person. So, if I spend my extra money on shoes and clothes, don't get in my face about it. I am different enough without calling attention to what I wear or, better yet, what I don't wear.

If it is not supposed to be such a big deal, why is there never room on your closet floor? I know I cost a lot of money as I keep growing. It seems ridiculous to spend "that much money" on a pair of shoes that I will grow out of soon. I once heard "clothes make the person." I am not sure of the context of this saying but I am certain of this -- for now, shoes are one of the most important status symbols of my generation.

Like it or not, I want to look like everyone else, so can I buy that pair of shoes I told you about last week?

-- IT! (Private thoughts of the Indomitable Teen) is written by Cecilia Tucker under the editorial guidance of a panel of teenagers (in exchange for pizza and volunteer hours). Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist at the Counseling Center for New Direction in Seminole. Comments are welcome. You may write c/o: IT!, Xpress, the Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731, or e-mail Floridian@sptimes.com. If you are interested in being on the teen editorial panel, please contact Cecilia Tucker at revcecilia@msn.com.