Signs steal the scene during local campaigns

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© St. Petersburg Times
published October 15, 2002

Nothing makes you feel warmer and fuzzier about the political process than to see the people who want us to allow them to regulate our lives act like spoiled children in a playground squabble.

What should be calm dialogue about real problems suddenly degenerates into "did too" and "did not," followed by "he started it" and "so's your mom."

And then, in great Florida tradition, the candidates start stealing each other's signs or accusing each other of it.

Those things usually happen in small political entities known for the wackiness of their politics and, frequently, of the people who seek office there.

Whining about political signs is a time-honored tradition, second only to firing the city manager and interfering with the police department in places such as Port Richey and Crystal River.

And, if there is a bellwether entity in the sign stealing hall of fame, it would be in the West Pasco Mosquito Control District, where a board member will make $400 per month for doing not much, and races are as hotly contested as you'll find.

Ten years ago, a former Port Richey City Council member videotaped his wife's opponent for a seat on the district board knocking down her campaign signs. The opponent was married to a current City Council member and claimed he was set up. Some of the same players are still ratting each other out over sign issues.

In fact, Port Richey police spent more than $2,000 in overtime during the last election looking for people who were vandalizing and stealing signs.

Pasco County Sheriff Bob White might want to think about the costs of patrols for sign stealing and tapes for recording City Council members abusing cops who ticket their sons before he goes any further with discussions about taking over law enforcement duties in that city.

But sign silliness as a political modality is moving up in the world.

So you will understand my pride last week when it was revealed that the husbands of state Sen. Ginny Brown-Waite, R-Brooksville, and of one of her legislative assistants were accused of stealing campaign signs belonging to Karen Thurman.

And this isn't the race for the seat in the Florida Senate, which Brown-Waite will be leaving, but for the 5th District seat in the U.S. House, from which Brown-Waite wants to supplant Thurman in the November general election. You know, Congress, the arm of government that sets taxes, approves budgets and -- well, sort of -- decides whether we go to war.

Okay. Item one: We probably shouldn't hold candidates responsible for things their family members are accused of doing, but we do. Even if the candidates don't mention it, anyone who thinks problems in the family of a candidate or officeholder don't become issues hasn't been in Florida, or Washington, D.C., for a while.

Item two: There is no indication whatsoever that Brown-Waite had any complicity in the great sign caper. In fact, she indicated to reporters that her dog would have to move over because her husband was headed for the doghouse.

And, of course, item three: According to police reports, Brown-Waite's husband, Harvey, at least offered the time-honored legal defense for such proceeding: "They (or at least someone) hit us first."

Actually, there are two traditional defenses for sign skulduggery. The other one is that the offending signs were illegally posted in road rights of way and on utility poles and that the apparent offender was only doing his or her part to clean up the environment.

Oh, yes. In the interests of full disclosure, and because the statute of limitations has long expired, I have to admit that some friends of mine thought it would be a good gag to steal a newspaper box belonging to Brand X, insert a rack card with my picture on it and place it at the entrance to the location of my 50th birthday party.

A sheriff's deputy who caught them failed to see the humor in the incident, and I'm pretty sure that the owners of the bright orange box might have felt the same had my friends not cut a deal to remove the offending picture and return the box.

I, of course, had no knowledge of the incident, was appalled to learn that it had occurred and firmly chastised my friends, who promised never to do it again.

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