Fancy yourself a bad poet, do you?

Each year, the would-be bards of Tampa Bay send us their original poems in hopes we will publish them in Floridian. So far we have not done so.

It's not their poetry isn't good. The thing is --

Okay, it's that their poetry isn't good. Not everybody is cut out to be a poet.

If you fit that description, here's your big opportunity! Announcing: FLORIDIAN'S FIRST (AND LAST) BAD THANKSGIVING POETRY CONTEST.

For the first (and last) time ever, we are inviting readers to commit acts of poetry on our pages.

Bad poetry.

About Thanksgiving.

Like this:

THANKSGIVING AT 7-ELEVEN

My mother, she cooks a bad turkey

Her gravy is alarmingly murky

So what she was carvin'

I fed my dog, Marvin

And then I gave thanks for beef jerky.

And this:

TOMDROOLERY

Mr. Turkey, you're an ugly bird

And yet we should give thanks

As we nibble on your giblets

And munch upon your shanks

And this:

AFTER THANKSGIVING DINNER

I'm splayed out on the old divan

Zonked out on L-tryptophan

Can you do worse? We know you can!

To enter the contest, follow these instructions carefully: We will accept poems up to 10 lines long. They should rhyme, more or less. They should be bad.

Send them by regular mail to BARD OF THE BIRD, Floridian, St. Petersburg Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731. Or by e-mail to mike@sptimes.com. Please include BARD OF THE BIRD in the subject line.

This is important: Tell us your name and the city in which you live. Readers will want to know whom to blame for these poems.

The deadline for submissions is Thursday, Nov. 21.

As befits a poet of his or her stature, the winner will receive something worthless. PR people send us a lot of stuff, so we can probably find something around here. We'll publish the very poorest of the poems on Thanksgiving Day.

Go ahead, send us your verses. And make them your worsest.

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