Side show

THIS MONTH'S CELEBRITY QUOTE QUIZ

1. "We all know I'm not hip."

a) Phil Collins, always self-aware.

b) Sean "P. Diddy" Combs, always the joker.

c) Flustered model Daniela Pestova, about her Victoria's Secret fashion show performance, meaning to say, "We all know I'm not hipless."

2. "I don't really have the dilemma that usually a sex symbol has, always feeling sexified."

a) Ben Affleck, People's latest Sexiest Man Alive, struggling to explain his selection.

b) Ozzy Osbourne, reflecting on his new status in life during Tuesday's debut of the next Osbournes season.

c) Shakira, explaining why she doesn't think she's a sex symbol.

3. "The Sammy Davis Jr. alone was worth the price of admission."

a) Mick Jagger, after visiting the Wax Museum at Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco.

b) George Clooney, keeping his Ocean's Eleven/Rat Pack vibe alive in case his new movie bombs.

c) Sean Hayes, suffering from Vegas/Rat Pack delusions now that he's played young Jerry Lewis in a TV movie.

4. "I'm just back from Brazil, and when I see a toilet that flushes, it makes me want to sing The Star-Spangled Banner."

a) Supermodel Gisele Bundchen, a native of Brazil but very enamored of the United States.

b) Celebrity chef Tony Bourdain, really loving all that travel involved in his Food Network show.

c) Avril Lavigne, who's Canadian but doesn't think that O Canada quite expresses her level of appreciation.

5. "They may have all the money in the world, but you say to yourself, 'I can't believe the guy would live with that couch.' "

a) Vern Yip, Trading Spaces interior designer, trying to embarrass Bill Gates and his wife into giving over their house for an episode.

b) Jackson Browne, fascinated by TV shows about fellow rock stars' homes.

c) Paul Burrell, Princess Diana's blabbermouth butler, not even above slamming Prince Charles' taste in furniture.

6. "All we ever dreamed about back then was getting good enough to perform in Las Vegas lounges."

a) Wayne Newton, on his career before singing to a cow on a 1965 The Lucy Show episode catapulted him to Las Vegas lounges.

b) Jay-Z, desperate for a break in his early days.

c) Bobby Hatfield, one of the Righteous Brothers, laughing at their beginnings now that he and Bill Medley have made the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

7. "I have never had a willingness to cooperate."

a) Joni Mitchell, giving one reason she thinks record labels avoid her.

b) Eminem, stating the obvious.

c) Kelly Osbourne, stating the obvious.

8. "I'm ready to get back to them drinking songs."

a) Phil Collins, thinking that maybe being a country artist will make him hip.

b) Shania Twain, panicking over the slow chart climb of her new single.

c) Alan Jackson, after winning Country Music Association awards for his Sept. 11-themed Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning).

ANSWERS: 1,a; 2,c; 3,a; 4,b; 5,b; 6,c; 7,a; 8,c.

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