A Thanksgiving confession

This year I want to let the people I love most know how thankful I am for them. I know this may sound a little soft and mushy, but I am going to do it anyway.

I often don't act very grateful because being ungrateful seems to be the right thing to do for someone my age. You know, I am supposed to be the self-centered, demanding and "this is all about me" person in our household.

I don't want you to read this at the table when we have Thanksgiving dinner, but it is okay for you to put it in your underwear drawer and read it when I am acting like an ungrateful teenager. There will still be days like that, even though I am trying to be less that way.

I am thankful for the way you have always loved me, even if it embarrasses me when you show it in public. In my heart, I know you love me when you get that look in your eyes, and you reach over and give me a gentle pat on the leg. I even know you want to hug me and kiss me then; but you don't always do that, because I push you away and pretend I don't like hugs and kisses from you anymore.

I never want you to stop reaching out to me, and I still am grateful when you try. (Don't stop hugging and kissing me; I really don't mind it. Remember, it's my job to act as if I don't like it.)

I am thankful for the times you tell me "no" and set clear boundaries for me. I am grateful when you don't always give in when I whine and complain about the rules. I know you care or you wouldn't bother setting those restrictions.

My first reaction when you tell me no is to decide you really don't love me or you'd do it my way. But I know that's not what is going on. I know you make every effort to see things my way; but my way, in your opinion, isn't always the best for me.

I am grateful you are my parent. This means I don't want someone's parent to take your place. It also means I am glad you don't try to be my "friend." I do want to be friends with you someday, but for now I have friends my own age. I still need someone to make me follow the rules, and I am glad you know when to be the rule enforcer. I am glad you can be objective about making me follow the rules.

I am thankful too, for the role model you have been for me. Your behavior follows your values, for the most part (no one's perfect, you know). I can count on your consistency and your integrity. I would like for my friends to think you are cool, but I really want them to respect you and value your opinions.

Lastly, I want to say thanks for all the ways you give to me. Giving is the second word in Thanksgiving, you know. (Just a little humor to lighten the seriousness and give you time to wipe away your happy tears.)

I know there are times I act unappreciative, especially when I keep asking for more stuff. I know you could have traveled the world over at least three times if you hadn't had me, but you chose me.

THANKS for being here for me and GIVING me all of yourself. You are the best!

- IT! (Private thoughts of the Indomitable Teen) is written by Cecilia Tucker under the editorial guidance of a panel of teenagers (in exchange for pizza and volunteer hours). Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist at the Counseling Center for New Direction in Seminole. Comments are welcome. You may write c/o: IT!, Xpress, the Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731, or e-mail Floridian@sptimes.com. If you are interested in being on the teen editorial panel, please contact Cecilia Tucker at revcecilia@msn.com.

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