The Year in Pop Culture

We'll see you in court

[AP photo] DISORDER IN THE COURT: Bobby Brown gets a tongue lashing from wife Whitney Houston during a court hearing in Decatur, Ga. Among this year’s charges: DUI, drug possession, speeding.

As we continue to wait for Vanessa Williams to tell she-was, then-she-wasn't, then-she-was, then-she-wasn't Miss North Carolina Rebekah Revels that nude photos can only help her post-beauty-queen career, we present our favorite things that put the pop in pop culture this year:

MOST-ASKED QUESTION: Which went bankrupt first, Kmart or Martha Stewart's ethics?

CELEBRITY JUSTICE: Designer Marc Jacobs, who did a sweater Winona Ryder was accused of stealing during her shoplifting spree and whose clothes Ryder wore often during her theft trial, wants her to model for his spring line. Says company president Robert Duffy: "We would like to use Winona. She's always been a very good customer of ours."

[AP photo] WACKO JACKO? Michael Jackson makes headlines after dangling one of his children over a hotel balcony in Berlin.

ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES: Michael Jackson dangles his infant son out of a hotel window for fans in Germany. . . . Ozzy Osbourne and his clan bleep their way into national celebrity. . . . Whitney Houston, with husband Bobby Brown, talks about her drug habit (not "addiction") on national TV, prompting the media to ask New Jersey child welfare officials if maybe they should be keeping on eye on the couple's 9-year-old daughter, Bobbi Kristina. . . . Madonna and Guy Ritchie lay the groundwork for their son to contact child welfare authorities himself once he realizes he has been scarred for life by Mom and Dad's turgid movie Swept Away.

WHERE IS THE LOVE? Americans aghast at the Osbournes' popularity flock to watch Oprah-endorsed Dr. Phil abuse people five days a week on national TV in the name of common-sense solutions for screwed-up lives.

FAVORITE COUPLE: Jennifer Lopez and Cris Judd . . . and Sean Combs . . . and Ralph Fiennes . . . and Ben Affleck . . . and her first ex-husband . . .

FUNNEST COUPLE: Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley marry just in time for Nic to have an all-access pass to Elvis' 25th anniversary death party at Graceland. When they announce their divorce less than four months later, Lisa Marie calls the marriage a "big mistake."

BREAKUPS WE HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF: Robert Blake and (the late) Bonny Lee Bakley . . . Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears . . . Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise . . . Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie (some reports have him ready to crawl back to her; others have her attempting a reunion with her first ex-husband, actor Jonny Lee Miller).

MAY AND DECEMBER ARE OUR FAVORITE MONTHS: Harrison Ford takes up with Calista Flockhart, and they could be married by the time you read this. . . . Paula Abdul does everything but publicly proposition eventual American Idol runner-up Justin Guarini every time he sings. . . . At least one person in the know discounts stories of hot and heavy doings between Kim Basinger and Eminem during the filming of 8 Mile, in which she played his mother. Other observers think, why not? Compared with her ex-husband, Alec Baldwin, the rapper sounds like Mr. Warm and Cuddly.

THE ONE THING MORE NAUSEATING THAN "FEAR FACTOR": "He is formidable. He is a man among men, unselfish and all-encompassing." Julia Roberts, describing her new husband, Danny Moder.

[AP photo] ACTING! THANK YOU: Winona Ryder strikes a righteous pose during the sentencing hearing of her shoplifting case.

GOING, GOING, GONE: Al Roker's body . . . Matt Lauer's hair . . . Kelly Clarkson's 15 minutes of fame . . . Anna Nicole Smith's brain cells . . . The self-respect of every woman who appeared on The Bachelor and every woman who watched the show and was not horrified. . . . The "Queen of Nice" persona of Rosie O'Donnell. She threw a fit after the publishers of her magazine decided it shouldn't be all about her, and when she was criticized for publicly saying nasty things about many people, she said that she never claimed to be nice to begin with.

SMARTEST CAREER MOVE: Rob Lowe leaving The West Wing. Now that he's shown his versatility by playing a career-driven lawyer in a Christmas TV movie, the offers should be pouring in.

BEST REALITY SHOW MOMENT: VH1 pulling the plug on a show with Liza Minnelli and her escapee from Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum husband, David Gest, before one second of it aired.

[AP photo] THE BUTLER DIDN’T DO IT: Paul Burrell, the late Princess Diana’s personal butler, is all thumbs after leaving court in November, having had theft charges dropped.

THE ROYAL PAINS: Teenage Prince Harry says he has smoked marijuana. . . . Princess Anne pleads guilty to a charge that one of her English bull terriers attacked two children. . . . A theft trial against Princess Diana's former butler Paul Burrell collapses when Queen Elizabeth "suddenly" remembers that Burrell told her he took the items in question for "safekeeping." . . . Burrell sells his story about life with the Windsors to a British tabloid. . . . Reports surface of a plot to steal a hair from Harry for DNA testing to determine if he is the son of Diana's former lover James Hewitt.

PREDICTED ROYAL PAIN IN 2003: Harry voluntarily shaves his head for testing, fervently hoping Hewitt is his father so he can escape to a normal life.

THE REAL SEXIEST MEN ALIVE: Forget Ben Affleck. Couch potato Americans are hot for Trading Spaces designer Vern Yip, Food Network chef Tony Bourdain and Discovery Channel home guru Christopher Lowell.

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