Show breaks comedy commandment: It's not funny

TAMPA -- Before the new Jobsite Theater show starts, the director tells the audience that alcoholic beverages are not only permitted, they're recommended.

Amen to that.

Cocktails are almost requisite. If you don't have a bit of a snootful, you're likely to find The Bible: The Complete Word of God (Abridged) a remarkably painful experience.

The script comes from Adam Long, Austin Tichenor and Reed Martin of the Reduced Shakespeare Company, the team that gave us the far superior The Complete Works of Shakespeare (Abridged). It's basically a series of skits based on familiar Bible stories.

But it's hard to say how much of the problem lies with the original script. Some of the alleged jokes in Jobsite's production are obviously new, so the script has been tampered with a little, and maybe a lot.

Here's a sampling of the topical humor that apparently was added:

-- One of the forgotten commandments is "Thou shalt not find free parking near the performing arts center."

-- The Magi start spouting examples of oxymorons. One says, "Trent Lott" and then corrects himself: "He's not an oxymoron; he's just a moron."

-- Apropos of nothing, one character says, "What's the difference between Cardinal Law and a bucket of s--? The bucket."

But the profound idiocy of this show can't be laid entirely at Jobsite's feet. As lame as those jokes are, they're on a par with the rest of the material. (Jesus announces he's going to turn the other cheek, then sticks his rear end toward his protagonist. At the Last Supper, Jesus tells St. Andrew to go to Scotland and invent golf. A song about various prophets informs us that Jeremiah was a bullfrog.)

Without exception, the gags are as predictable as Halley's Comet, and most are just about as ancient. There's even a spoof of a magic act lifted directly from a classic 1960s bit by comedian Art Metrano.

Another reason Jobsite can't shoulder all the blame for this show is that all the actors turn in lively performances. It's a laudable achievement for the performers merely to avoid looking horribly embarrassed by the material. But Jason Evans, David M. Jenkins and Shawn Paonessa, who play all the roles, do much more than that. They're amiable and engaging and, on opening night, managed a real rapport with the audience.

The best moments in the opening night performance came when Evans, Jenkins and Paonessa dragged some semiwilling audience members onto the stage to portray animals on Noah's Ark.

It'd be nice to say that this show failed because it was blasphemous or otherwise offensive. But that would almost be too kind. If it were blasphemous, at least it would be interesting. Instead, it's just plain stupid.

THEATER REVIEW: The Bible: The Complete Word of God (Abridged) runs through Jan. 19 at the Shimberg Playhouse at the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center, 1010 N. W.C. MacInnes Place, Tampa. Tickets are $10.50. Call (813) 229-7827 or toll-free 1-800-955-1045.

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