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If science is unfair, your kid's project must be due
© St. Petersburg Times My closest friends know all about my adoration for the Flintstones, and how I often relate the animated episodes to real-life experiences. As my wife and I helped my kids through a last-minute rush to complete their science fair projects, I was reminded of a particular episode in which Fred received equal doses of internal counsel from an angel on his right shoulder and a devil on his left. The same thing started happening to me. Devil: The next time I write down the reasons you shouldn't have kids, science fair projects will top the list. Angel: Come on, it's not that bad, you and Florence staying up late to work on a project. It's like when you were in college and she had to help you with your last-minute projects. It's romantic. Devil: I got your romance right here. It's too much to ask a third- or fourth-grader to put together a project complete with a research paper. How can we expect Ethan to do a bibliography when he can't even say the word? We didn't do our first science project until we were in Mrs. Powell's seventh grade-class and Joe Pankowski made a volcano. At third and fourth grade, this is the science unfair project. Angel: Now, now. First of all, it's a science investigation, not a project. And the teacher gave plenty of advance notice and even convened parents in a special meeting to explain the challenges back in October. Portions were due in advance, so if the kids had methodically done their work over the weeks, we would be asleep right now. The problem is we're passing our gift of procrastination on to our kids. Devil: The problem is this assignment is beyond their capabilities. The school district knows all too well parents are going to end up doing these projects because it's too much for the kids. And you know some student whose dad is a nuclear engineer is going to produce the winning project and then put his kid's name on it. Angel: Oh, there's the problem. We tell the teachers the kids should have more homework, but when it actually requires us to lend a hand, it's too much. The school district is merely adhering to state standards and really, teaching one of life's lessons. Plus, we should relish the chance to play an active role in the education of our children, not grouse about it. Devil: Did you say pay an active role? After buying display boards, graduated cylinders, film, borders, rubber cement, folders, etc., we have done that. Angel: It's a small price for a quality public education. And while some students may not be able to afford all the bells and whistles, it does not mean they can't get a good grade. From birth, kids learn from experimenting, and this is just an extension of that. Matthew said several students turned in their projects early. Devil: Yeah, we had those kids in our classes. Those are the same people who pay their bills on time and have perfect credit. We hate those people. Angel: We envy those people. Devil: Whatever. We also envy kids who enjoy a carefree life. It seems we are asking more and more of our children at a much younger age. Put them in Little League and they have to be at the field three or four nights a week. Put them in the gifted program and they have to spend the entire holiday break being blinded with science. Angel: This isn't the same world we grew up in. Kids are learning at a faster rate, and they have to start earlier. Can you say science FCAT? They just needed to devote a few hours each day during the holidays. Devil: Is it still Christmas if you're trying to figure out which diaper will leak first, Pampers, Huggies or Publix brand? Is it still Christmas if you're trying to determine how fast your son runs in sandals as opposed to cleats? Angel: It's the season of giving, so it wouldn't have hurt if they gave a little of themselves to get a better education. That's all I'm saying. Devil: The school district can give me a break. That's all I'm saying. -- Ernest Hooper can be reached at (813) 226-3406 or hooper@sptimes.com .
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