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IT!
Many questions, few answers
By CECILIA A. TUCKER
© St. Petersburg Times
published January 20, 2003
First of two parts.
I woke up this morning full of whys. Has that ever happened to you? I can't seem to get them out of my head, and I don't know the answers to many of my questions. This causes me to reflect: Why are there so many whys and so few concrete answers?
I've been thinking a lot about the questions I used to ask when I was a little kid. I seem to remember that I could ask a question and someone almost always supplied me with an answer. There were times when I questioned the answer I was given, but at least someone attempted to give me one. I also remember believing most of the answers people told me.
I liked it when the answers were black and white. I used to be fairly comfortable with right and wrong answers. When I was told, "I don't know," or "What do you think?" I remember not wanting to risk saying what I thought. I just wanted an answer. None of this seems to work for me the way it used to. Why not?
As I get older, I am faced with a new task. When I ask questions now, I am told I need to think about it and come to my own conclusions. But sometimes I feel as though I can't come up with the right answer. All of my answers come across as vague and uncertain.
Maybe my questions are more complex now that I am a teenager, and therefore demand more complex and thought-out answers. All I know is my questions that need answering seem to be more important, and the answers I get seem to be less helpful.
I want my questions dealt with by someone that surely knows the right answer. I am asking questions like, "Why do people kill other people?" I think this is a worthy question, but no one seems to want to answer. I have been doing some thinking about this one and I am trying to decide, "Are there just evil people in the world?" This answer doesn't seem to satisfy me. I think of the jealous rages where someone gets killed. Are people that evil or is it something else?
Is killing a natural part of life, proving to all the toughest will survive? Is killing in war more right than killing a clerk in a convenience store? I DON'T KNOW! How am I supposed to figure this stuff out by myself? My answers seem so unimportant.
Here are a few more of my questions. Why do people sexually, physically and/or emotionally do harm to people? My conclusion is they must be warped and sick. Is this the right answer, or am I missing a big piece of the puzzle here?
Then I start to question the simplistic way I seem to approach life. Do people do these abusive things because they were abused in their past? Are they hungry for power? Are they insecure? Could all of these answers and more be the truth?
How does anyone know?
I want to know about wars and suicide bombers. I can't make sense of the senselessness that I encounter when I think about these two topics. I wish we could answer the hard questions in life because we might be able to figure out how to create more peace in a messed-up world.
I have more questions to discuss and ponder. In the meantime, if anyone can give me some good answers to the hard questions in life, I am open to their input.
IT! (Private thoughts of the Indomitable Teen) is written by Cecilia Tucker under the editorial guidance of a panel of teenagers (in exchange for pizza and volunteer hours). Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist at the Counseling Center for New Direction in Seminole. Comments are welcome. You may write c/o: IT!, Xpress, the Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731, or e-mail Floridian@sptimes.com. If you are interested in being on the teen editorial panel, please contact Cecilia Tucker at revcecilia@msn.com.
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