Super Bowl XXXVII

Super commercials?

Because so many advertisers are so willing to share their Super Bowl masterpieces with the press before game day, this critic decided to sit down with a few of them and offer a little pre-game assessment.

Read on to discover which are worth passing up a trip to the chip bowl.

WILLIE NELSON FOR H&R BLOCK

THE SPOT: Grizzled country star Nelson, who has had tax troubles, is shown being forced to shill for an off-brand shaving cream when his non-H&R Block accountants screw up his tax return.

THE SCOOP: A mildly amusing ad, sabotaged mostly by Willie's half-hearted performance (though I loved his parting line: "My face is burning!").

JACKIE CHAN AND MICHAEL JORDAN FOR HANES' TAGLESS SHIRTS

THE SPOT: Athletic action star Chan hops around a room filled with other hapless guys gyrating in a futile effort to reach the shirt tags irritating their backs (Jordan appears only briefly to point out "it's gotta be the tags.")

THE SCOOP: Confusing and irritating, this ad manages to underplay Chan's amazing acrobatic skills while underusing the best-known face in sports. Gotta be some bonehead in marketing.

CHEF JIMMY FOR QUIZNOS SUBS

THE SPOT: The sandwich chain features founding chef James "Chef Jimmy" Lambatos as a guy who lets his parakeet die and lawn go to seed while figuring out the best ingredients for a sub. The kicker: He even forgets to wear his pants.

THE SCOOP: A cute ad that lacks the cheeky attitude of the chain's first Super Bowl ad last year -- where an unscrupulous tester zapped a subject with a tranquilizer dart to keep him from choosing a Quiznos sub during a taste test.

THE SIERRA MIST MONKEYS

THE SPOT: A monkey in a zoo builds a crude fulcrum and gets his pal to jump on the other end, sending him flying into the polar bear pool. Fans can surf to http://sierramist.yahoo.com to vote for which of two versions will air during the game.

THE SCOOP: I'm still trying to figure out what any of this has to do with drinking soda.