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Veterans of Valentine's Day offer advice
By EBONY WINDOM DADE CITY -- Richard Jewett is a little disappointed in himself because this is the first year he didn't buy his wife, Lydia, a valentine. Missing one Valentine's Day out of 66 years of marriage is not bad. "That's okay; you're my valentine," Mrs. Jewett said, as she held her husband's hand and smiled. The couple were among 40 residents who attended a Valentine's Day party at the Edwinola retirement center. The festivities, which had a promlike feel, included serenades, cookies and punch. The group even crowned a king and a queen. Some of these veteran spouses had plenty of advice for the younger set about how to make a marriage last. The Jewetts -- she's 90; he's 89 -- met when they were college students in New York. "He thought I was very stuck up," Mrs. Jewett said. She asked Jewett to be her date to a dance, and he accepted. It's clear that the Jewetts know each other well. She even finishes his sentences at times. She insists that marriage is not always perfect. "We have our ups and downs. I don't think there are any perfect marriages. But we have a lot of fun together," Mrs. Jewett said. The couple -- who have four children, nine grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren -- say a sense of humor is critical to a good marriage. From the start, they enjoyed playing pranks on each other. "Sometimes we'd pump a pail of water and chase each other around the house with it, just for fun," Mrs. Jewett said with a laugh. That was before they had running water or electricity, she said.
The Jewetts agree that some younger couples won't allow a strong relationship to develop. Jewett says the key to a good marriage is "dependability." Edwin and Martha Stoetzner have depended on each other since they were married 67 years ago. Mrs. Stoetzner, 85, was a seamstress. Her husband, 92, was a manager for Ford Motor Parts for 42 years before they moved to Florida from Utica, N.Y. Although they enjoy Valentine's Day, Mrs. Stoetzner said, "We usually don't make that much of it." The Stoetzners insist that the key to a long and happy marriage is having common interests. "We like music. I play the organ, and he plays the trombone. That's something we can do together," Mrs. Stoetzner said. "We met in a church choir. I sang in the choir, and she sang in the junior choir. I met her not thinking she'd be my wife," Stoetzner said. Stoetzner said a good tip for success is compromise. "Try to agree in ironing out things; don't fly off the handle so quickly," he said. His wife grinned. "I kind of know how to get my way every once in a while," she said. -- Ebony Windom can be reached at (813) 909-4609 or toll-free at 1-800-333-7505, ext. 4609. Her e-mail address is ewindom@sptimes.com.
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