Commuting: Lane Ranger

Residents beware: Humps slow more than speeders

Today we'll be talking about speed humps. Are they the safest way to reduce speed in your neighborhood?

Let's examine two streets: 18th Street NW in Ruskin and Hickory Ridge Drive in Valrico. Both have posted speed limits of 25 mph, and both are concerned about speeding traffic.

The Ruskin street looks no different from most others, aside from the house which has a mailbox shaped like a fish.

There is also an automotive garage at one end, and residents say this creates unwanted traffic. As far back as a year ago, they contacted the county about installing speed humps.

"We have had animals hit by cars, and what if this was one of our children?" their letter asked.

Two weeks ago, the residents met with county officials to discuss their options. County spokesman Patrick Murray said an agreement was reached to place sheriff's deputies on the street for about a month. If people are still upset about speeding, they can petition to get their humps.

The folks on Hickory Ridge Drive in Valrico have been through this. Concerned about traffic, they suggested several steps to take at a meeting March 12. Among them, according to a report from the meetings: "We need humps," and "Humps with an island is what we need."

The residents voted for humps by a wide margin, and last week, the county agreed to install six.

The county's residential traffic control program asked law enforcement and public transportation bodies if they had any objections. Most had no problem, but the Fire Rescue Department offered this ominous warning:

"The citizens must be aware that if speed humps are the preferred device, they will increase response times for fire rescue vehicles an average of ten seconds per speed hump. This includes the time necessary for the vehicle to slow to a near idle to cross the speed hump and then return to normal response speed."

With six speed bumps, that's one minute. And what's that old saying? In an emergency, every minute counts?

Just a thought for the residents of 18th Street NW. When enforcement starts at the end of the month, give it a chance before you ask for humps.

THERE IS SOMETHING VAGUELY SHAKESPEAREAN about this week's Axie.

Unfortunately, I can't quite put my finger on what it is, which shows how much I've gotten out of my English diploma.

Here's the story. See what you think.

Two shipping trucks were traveling along State Road 60 near Interstate 75, one behind the other, in your basic everyday convoy.

The second driver hears over his citizen band radio about an abandoned car on the side of the road. Its open driver-side door is poking into the right lane. The truck pulls into the center lane to avoid it.

Up front, the first driver doesn't hear the announcement. He doesn't see the car door until the last moment and is forced to swerve into the center lane, clipping the second truck. The two vehicles sustain little damage, but it's enough to make them pull off the road.

Meanwhile, a Hillsborough County Sheriff's deputy was already on the scene, checking out the empty car. He witnesses the crash, but -- in the words of the report -- "did not offer any action to address the situation prior to leaving the scene."

This is understandable. It's a state road, not a county road. It wasn't the deputy's turf.

But the tale spawns a mental image of a solitary, glassy-eyed deputy standing next to the road, powerless to sort out the mess or reprimand the drivers.

There are so many questions. Why didn't the first driver hear the warning announcement? What shadowy figure abandoned the initial vehicle, causing this entire mess? And why were no charges filed by any officer?

There's a classic tale in this quagmire of cursed timing, authoritative impotence and dinged-up steel.

The story ends poetically, with symbolic overtones of mortality and loss: "Writer (of the report) secured the door and placed a red tag on the abandoned vehicle."

As the Bard himself once wrote, "The path is smooth that leadeth on to danger."

It's unlikely that he was describing SR 60, but he could have been. So watch the road out there.

-- The Lane Ranger is currently stuck in traffic. But he can be reached at 661-2442 or cridlin@sptimes.com .