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When three young people die violently, there's more than enough blame to go around. That's what nine high school students learned when they shared their views about a recent fatal car crash.
By CATHY MCCARTHY
© St. Petersburg Times, published March 17, 2003
In the early hours of March 3, three St. Petersburg teens died in a car crash after the driver lost control of the stolen red Dodge Neon they were in. The following is a transcript of a group discussion in response to the tragedy. Eight journalism students from Seminole High School participated: Lauren Arias, 16; Connie Beltran, 16; Nicole Brauer, 17; Chris Bulone, 18; Christine Dailey, 15; Jeff Gill, 17; Danielle Kauffman, 15; Jen Nawrocki, 17.
Cathy: Do you see yourself in a situation like this?
Lauren: Okay, I know going out at (2 a.m.) and stuff, because I do that sometimes, but stealing cars, no.
Cathy: If you were leaving at (2 a.m.)?
Lauren: No, I don't let my mom know because my curfew for weekdays until I turn 16 is 9 (p.m.). It's pathetic.
(Laughter)
Lauren: The reaction thing, though, there was something similar not that long ago. In eighth grade, there was this girl and her friends who took her dad's car. They went out at night without asking their parents' permission, and the parents decided to teach them a lesson, to call the cops and say that the car was stolen. And when the cops went after them, they speeded up and crashed and died. So the guilt and the blame was like up in the air because some people wanted to blame the parents because, "How could you do that to your kids," you know? But some people said it was the kids' fault because it was their choice to keep driving, and then some people said the cops, or who knows, but that one was really confusing. And in middle school my friend Maddie did do something very similar. But that . . .
Connie: They were drunk . . .
Lauren: No, they'd had a couple of beers, but Maddie could hold her own. She was a big girl. Maddie and my friend Ashley decided to go to a friend's house, so they borrowed Maddie's dad's car. She didn't ask for permission; she didn't even have her permit yet. She was 15, though. They drove to the friend's house, and when they were driving back around 2 in the morning, they just sort of lost control of the car, and it slammed into a pole, and the pole fell onto the car and hit her directly on the head and killed her.
Jeff: I don't see myself in a situation like this. I have a car, so I wouldn't need to go out and steal one. When I was 15 I used to bum rides with my friends in their cars, but they could have stolen them, I guess. I don't know.
Lauren: At 2 in the morning?
Jeff: Not at 2 in the morning on a school night, no. That's sort of crazy.
Lauren: Hey . . .
Jeff: I mean, not crazy, I mean sane people do that. So yeah, it's kind of weird. I guess a parent should know.
Christine: My mom has a curfew for me, and my mom trusts my judgment to not go in a car with someone who can't drive.
Cathy: What restrictions are placed on you as far as curfews go? Are these restrictions too harsh or too loose?
Chris: I would say they are too loose, which is how I like my restrictions. I feel that if I had harsher restrictions, I'd be more apt to go out and break them instead of staying home and watching ESPN Classic.
Jen: I think my restrictions are good; they're kind of self-imposed, in a way. Of course, my parents care, and they're like, "You need to be home by a decent hour." But I think if a lot of parents give their kids really strict times, they're going to be more apt to break their curfew because it's more like they want to do something to get back at their parents for being strict or they don't think it's right.
Lauren: I kind of like the way mine are right now because they're kind of flexible and negotiable. And on the weekends, if there are concerts or different occasions, it's maybe midnight, but there's a lot of negotiating. If she feels I'm starting to abuse it, then she'll bring it back down. With negotiation, it's a lot easier because you don't really have to push to get what you want, but you also know that you have your limits.
Connie: I'm a child of parents who aren't very restrictive on things. I have times (that I have to be home but) usually I have to let them know where I'm going. A lot of times I don't, and I just go. My mom trusts me. I'm not destructive -- I don't steal cars -- I have one, my friends have cars.
Connie: Yeah, I've done all the crazy things kids do, but I've never done them to a degree where I'd actually get hurt.
Lauren: Do you think that if you'd been restricted more, you wouldn't have done these things?
Connie: No, actually up until eighth grade I had really strict restrictions, and I wasn't allowed to do anything. But my mom says that freedom comes with maturity.
Cathy: Do you feel this tragedy is primarily the responsibility of the teens or of their parents and the community?
Jen: It's parents. Parents need to set a foundation for their kids from the time they're young, and if parents don't set guidelines that show that going out at (2 a.m.) with friends you don't even know and stealing cars is wrong and you're going to get in trouble, then they're going to do it because they want to see what will happen if (they) do this. . . . It is the responsibility of the teens, but they need to be under more supervision . . . by their parents because they would not have done this if their parents had . . . asked questions or wondered where they were or checked in on them, because then there would be consequences.
Lauren: I think it's both. I definitely think there's something wrong with the parents letting them start to go out at (2 a.m.), and I also think what they were doing was wrong because out stealing cars -- that's rebellion with no cause. When you have the freedom to have no restriction, as horrible as that is because I don't think having no restriction is good, you also shouldn't be out doing things like that, so I don't think the parents are the only ones to blame.
Chris: I blame both the parents and the misguided kids. They were at fault because they stole the car and crashed it, but the parents didn't stop them.
Jeff: I say it's both, obviously.
Christine: It's not the parents in the community, because it's not their fault. It's (the fault of the kids' parents), and nobody else has to worry about it; it's not their job. It's the child's parents' job.
Danielle: Parents are given the responsibility to look after their kids, so they're the deciding factor in whether they should have gone or not. They should have held them down, made them not go. But the kids also have free will.
Christine: It also comes back on the parents because the parents are responsible for them. The parent teaches them what they did, so they must have learned bad behavior from someone.
Danielle: Parents are supposed to be responsible for kids until the age of 18, so any decision you make, your parents are held responsible for. So they should have made more effort to discipline their kids.
Cathy: These kids were stealing cars to earn credibility with their friends. Would your friends expect you to commit crimes?
Christine: If a group of friends expects you to do that, then you have problems. And if you want to be accepted, then you shouldn't just go to any group. You should change yourself a little bit and have higher goals for yourself to get into a higher "group," I guess.
Cathy: Do you think auto theft is motivated by economics?
Christine: I think people get a rush out of it.
Danielle: I think it's just for acceptance from their peers, and they don't get acceptance from somewhere else.
Christine: People who do that really do need help. Not to be mean or anything, but they need to get help if their parents aren't giving it to them.
Nicole: It has nothing to do with economics. First of all, they were too young to have a car even if they were rich, and they're probably just doing it for attention like most people do and for the adrenalin rush and for the excitement of stealing something and doing something bad and trying to get away with it.