Kickin' back with Phil Martelli

Saint Joseph's coach lives on edge

Phil Martelli compares himself to the Energizer Bunny, but when the season ends he likes to wind down with a Robert Ludlum novel.

By ROGER MILLS, Times Staff Writer
© St. Petersburg Times
published March 21, 2003

He is Saint Joseph's charismatic coach, Phil Martelli, and all you need to know is that he has his own outrageous television show full of skits, Top 10 lists and anything else imaginable. Here he is on punctuality, solitude, Philly fans, multiple wives, daughters and referees.

RM: Punctuality ...

PM: Yeah, that's my pet peeve. Lateness really annoys me.

RM: So when you say 5 p.m., you mean 5 p.m.

PM: ... Most of the time. Well, actually I guess it's lateness in others. Here's my feeling about lateness. I think punctuality is a sign of respect. You're not allowed to have my money, so I should not be allowed to have your time. So if I say to you 5:30 p.m. and show up at 5:40 p.m., then I'm spending your money. I don't want you spending my money.

RM: You hold the team to those standards?

PM: We really have very few team rules, but the No.1 team rule is to be on time. That means you respect what I have asked of you. Of course, personally, I might push it a bit and say to myself, "If I leave at 5:28 p.m. and catch every green light, then I'm going to get there by 5:30 p.m." I live on the edge that way.

RM: You're quite an extrovert, so what's surprising about you?

PM: You know, a lot of people aren't going to believe this, but I like to be alone. There are times, when this business takes so much out of you, it gets your energy. Coaching is a people business. I have to deal with a lot of people. But there are times when I can say to myself, "You know what, I want to be alone. I just want to be by myself."

RM: What do you do when you're by yourself?

PM: I read. I catch up on a lot of the newspaper reading. I like Robert Ludlum. Yes, (the books) are long and they are not good for the season. I usually read them during the offseason.

RM: Who has the best Philly Cheesesteaks, Geno's or Pat's?

PM: Neither of them. Straight across the street from Saint Joe's is a place called Larry's.

RM: So what's so good about Larry's?

PM: If you order two sandwiches, you get napkins. If you order only one, you don't get napkins. You're on your own.

RM: Philly fans get a bad rap?

PM: I think so. They are passionate. They want to win. They are no different from other fans.

RM: Do you think they can go over the edge a bit?

PM: Stupidity reigns in society today, and therefore in fans. But in Philly, here's what we want you to do. We want you to sweat, we want you to bleed, we want you to dive on the ground. We want to leave (the game) knowing that you've given them maximum effort. You give maximum effort, you'll never hear a word.

RM: Give me your best Philly fan experience.

PM: Baseball, 1993, Phillies had just knocked off the Braves to win the pennant to move on to the World Series (against the Blue Jays). Phillies win Game 6 in Philadelphia and I have my son, who is now on the team, and he was 11. I had my other son, he was 10 and their buddy was with us and he was 11. We were driving out of the stadium and I wanted them to get the flavor for how passionate our fans are about championships. I try to make a right turn on Broad Street and all I could see was a sea of people. I could see no cars, nothing but people. That will stick in my head. I had these three kids with me and it was memorable.

RM: Duracell or Energizer?

PM: Energizer, got to go with the bunny. I am the Energizer Bunny.

RM: Who has the softest toilet paper?

PM: Well, until I became head coach I could only afford generic toilet paper.

RM: But the real question is, who intentionally makes rough toilet paper?

PM: I hear you! Probably Europeans.

RM: Finish these sentences. A good man is....

PM: Bald. And I know you can feel me on this one.

RM: A safe bet is....

PM: That after the season, I'm going to do whatever my wife tells me to do.

RM: Love is....

PM: Winning an NCAA game.

RM: Polygamists and Muslims believe in multiple wives, my question is why?

PM: I don't know. One is enough.

RM: Best thing about having two wives.

PM: Hopefully they work and you have two paychecks.

RM: Worst thing about having two wives.

PM: Two to-do lists.

RM: Okay, Martelli the Magnificent, tell me what's in the envelope when I say: Blam! Crash! Boom! Ouch!

PM: A coach's reaction to a referee's poor call.

RM: No! No! Don't take... Great shot!

PM: A U.S. Ranger putting a bullet right in the middle of (Saddam Hussein's) head.

RM: You have a 16-year-old daughter (Elizabeth).

PM: God bless me.

RM: How do you plan to handle the boy thing?

PM: It's challenging for her because she knows the guy is going to have a hard time. I think the arrangement for these formal dances is that they meet somewhere else. Somehow, I've never been invited to the picture taking.

RM: Best comment you ever made to a referee.

PM: I once told a guy, "Congratulations on your retirement." Then there was the time in my first NCAA game when a referee told me that my arm was out of the coaching box. My arm! This guy was built like a Coke machine with a head on him. I said to him, "You're a Coke machine with a head, if you run into my arm you will rip it off at the socket. Quit worrying about it."

RM: You like officials?

PM: I think they are a necessary evil.

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