City Life

Tastings: A guide for your inner commando

THOMPSON E-mail: Click here

© St. Petersburg Times
published March 22, 2003

Consider this a sort of "Girl's Guide to Wine and Food Tastings."

These are not your usual parties. Guests numbering in the hundreds or thousands in venues that aren't meant for drinking or dining (i.e., no tables or chairs) -- MOSI, the Florida Aquarium, Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center -- necessitates an advance strategy. You'll need urban guerrilla tactics to survive.

First, what to wear? Appropriate dress for these events is anything from a backless cocktail dress to elastic waist pants and a logo sweatshirt. (This is Tampa.) Whatever your style, keep in mind: You will be spending the evening balancing a wine glass and a little plastic tray in one hand and accessing food and drink with the other in as much personal space as you'd have in Times Square on New Year's Eve.

Do not bring a handbag; you don't have a third hand to carry it. Do not bring a large shoulder bag; you'll bop the wine glasses out of fellow guests' hands. A small shoulder purse works. (I'm assuming you wouldn't be caught dead with a fanny pack.) The balancing act of the glass and the little tray and the tipsy, hungry guests guarantee you will spill wine and/or chimichurri sauce on your blouse, possibly dribble it from your neckline to your knees. Wear a dark color, preferably black; once dry, the stains won't show. Wear machine washables or add dry cleaning to the price of the ticket.

As for footwear, leave those strappy stiletto sandals at home unless you want to stand in them all night. There's virtually no seating at these events, all the better to pack more people in. At MOSI, prime seating is the stairs -- another reason to wear black.

Go early. It's the only chance to minimize the lines. Grab a program, scan the maps that locate the wine and food vendors, and plan your attack. Lines for wine are manageable; for food they're not, especially at an event that's primarily a wine tasting. And just try to cut in line at Armani's or Maggiano's! Go to the stations of restaurants you know you like or are curious to try. Don't waste time standing behind 30 people for, say, a bagel from Einstein's.

Unless you want to begin dinner with tiramisu, before you get in line, slip to the front to check out what they're serving, offering to guests you pass a convincing "I'm only looking." Portions tend to be minuscule -- at one tasting, a restaurant offered a single shrimp on a toothpick -- so you'll have to negotiate several lines. Get to the most popular places first, and they may not be the most haute. Carrabba's is a big draw.

If you're a wine aficionado, you will have studied the program and wisely narrowed the field for tasting. If you'll drink anything, no problem. But if you're picky but not knowledgeable, where to start? There can be literally hundreds of wines. Even if you have a designated driver, you can't drink them all. Just plunge on in. If you don't like the first swallow, dump the rest out into one of the ubiquitous plastic buckets. Or, if you really want to look like an expert, spit it out.

If your husband or date is a wine fiend, he can help, but you may not care to stand around for 15 minutes while he discusses the relative merits of a bottle based on year, climate and astrological sign of the vintner. If you'd rather slip away to bid on a pedicure at the silent auction table, don't do it! Unless you have a plan. you will never see that man again. Bring a very light cell phone -- if you have a pocket to put it in -- and make sure he takes his, so you can communicate your whereabouts throughout the evening.

If you can't go the cell phone route, get him to agree to a departure time and to meet you at a particular place -- the shark tank, for instance. (Don't expect him to be on time.)

So, that's it.

Have fun! That's why people go to these things, after all. And these days, we need all the fun we can get.

-- Sandra Thompson is a writer living in Tampa. She can be reached at tampa@sptimes.com . City Life appears on Saturday.

© 2006 • All Rights Reserved • Tampa Bay Times
490 First Avenue South • St. Petersburg, FL 33701 • 727-893-8111

Contact the Times | Privacy Policy
Standard of Accuracy | Terms, Conditions & Copyright