A few snags, but a great time overall

HOLLYWOOD -- Sure, there were some downers at this year's Oscars. The most honored themes included homicide (Chicago), suicide (The Hours) and genocide (The Pianist). The red carpet was reduced to a doormat. Sirens, police helicopters and the chants of antiwar protesters three blocks away could be heard in the lobby of the Kodak Theatre. And there were empty seats for the first time that I can recall in 16 years of Oscargoing.

Still, the 75th Academy Awards presentation was by far the most enjoyable Oscar ceremony I've attended. The show was brisk, thanks to host Steve Martin. Acceptance speeches were interesting and heartfelt, thanks to the world situation. And the spirit of the evening was fun and chatty, thanks to all the lobby bars and their generous flow of martinis and champagne.

Here are some of my awards for the 75th Academy Awards.

WORST TRAINED: The many women in gowns with full trains who didn't have a clue how to maneuver in them. Dresses caught in doorways, snagged on railings, tangled in electrical wiring and got ripped by guests' feet. Among the casualties: dresses worn by Kathy Bates, Halle Berry, Queen Latifah, Jennifer Garner, Kate Hudson, Marcia Gay Harden and Renee Zellweger (who seemed to suffer whiplash when Michael Douglas accidentally stomped on her scarlet Carolina Herrera). And that was city of St. Petersburg marketing manager Robert Danielson catching 86-year-old Olivia de Havilland as she almost took a tumble in a mass of blue chiffon.

BEST TRAINED: Ben Affleck did a fine job keeping his feet off the train of a priceless vintage Valentino worn by his fiancee, Jennifer Lopez. The gown, once worn by Jackie O, was loaned to J.Lo for the evening.

NEEDED TRAINING: Resembling a dove's wings in flight, platinum pins with a diamond stud for the dove's eye were worn by celebs including Daniel Day-Lewis, Meryl Streep, Rob Marshall, Salma Hayek, Adrien Brody, Brendan Fraser, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins. Designer Henry Dunay should have included instructions: Most were mistakenly positioned to look like ribbons.

MOST NERVOUS, PART I: The $15,000 Estee Lauder Spa package for each acting nominee relaxed most of the stars. But it didn't seem to work for best actress nominee Zellweger (Chicago), a pasty-white train wreck of nerves and tears all evening.

MOST NERVOUS, PART II: Due to security concerns, the designated outdoor smoking area kept getting moved. So the nicotine-deprived scrambled up and down five flights of stairs seeking a place to puff.

BEST DRESSED: Hudson in a gold lace gown by Versace. Runnerup was Diane Lane in a champagne-colored, feather-covered strapless that shed slightly when she walked.

WORST DRESSED: Shirley Jones, in an ill-fitting black pants suit resembling a Gestapo uniform and a choker so tight it cut into her neck.

MOST FUN: Sharing a boisterous "Viva la Frida" martini salute with Frida star and co-producer Salma Hayek as she whooped it up with friends in the lobby. But she had to hike up her Carolina Herrera gown and charge back into the theater when she realized that she was missing the best song performance from her movie.

LEAST FUN: Calista Flockhart went from waif to witch when she became separated from beau Harrison Ford on her way to the ladies room.

FULL HANDS: Denmark's Martin Strange-Hansen and Mie Andreasen, live action short winners for This Charming Man (Der Er En Yndig Mand), asked me to hold their statuettes while they knocked back a few champagnes.

EMPTY HANDS: Gangs of New York went home with nothing after 10 nominations, but it can't even claim that as a distinction. At past Oscars, The Turning Point and The Color Purple failed to grab any gold after 11 nominations each.

MOST SURPRISING NO-SHOWS: Elizabeth Taylor, Faye Dunaway, Cher and Angelina Jolie, who had made big publicity deals of attending this year's Oscars to honor the academy's 75th anniversary.

-- Times marketing director Ed. Cassidy is a 16-year voting member of the Motion Picture Academy of Arts and Sciences.

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