When chief court reporter Joy Hayes was duped by daughter and fellow court reporter Bridget Booher on April Fools' Day last week, she asked Circuit Judge Ric A. Howard to help plot her revenge. He happily obliged.
Before the morning's trial began, Howard handed out computer printouts of Latin phrases to Assistant State Attorney Milam "Bo" Samargya and lawyer Mark Solomon.
The goal was to pepper their speech with as much Latin as possible, Howard said.
As usual, Howard instructed Booher to go on record.
He announced that a grand jury had returned a special indictment. He asked the defense attorney for his response.
Solomon replied with a string on nonsensical Latin.
Then Samargya piped in with more English phrases heavily spiced by Latin terms.
With each word, Booher looked more and more confused.
Solomon spoke again, this time adding Hebrew. It was the last straw. An extremely perplexed Booher threw her hands up in the air.
"I'm not getting any of this, judge!" she cried in a deep Southern accent.
The judge looked at her sternly. Make sure you get down this crucial phrase, he said: "Mater joyus et retributi hath dorfunnum et posteriosis."
The entire court burst into laughter when Howard translated his sentence of fabricated words: "My mother Joy has gotten me back and kicked me in the butt," he said, smiling.
Booher has promised never to play a practical joke on her mother again.
JUST AN AFTERTHOUGHT: On March 30, Eugene Quinn VFW Post 4337 in Inverness hosted a "Student, Teacher, Community Services Recognition program."
Special awards were presented to student winners of the "Voice of Democracy Essay Contest" and the "Patriots Pen Contest."
As the awards ceremony ended, master of ceremonies Randolph Bellamy presented certificates of appreciation to the judges of the two contests.
Each was called and came forward until the last name, Randolph Bellamy Jr.
"Since he can't be here today," Bellamy said, "we'll have my wife come up and accept this award on behalf of her son."
A pregnant pause ensued, until Bellamy realized what he had said.
"Our son," he said quickly, to the amusement of those present.
BUMPER STICKERS WE LIKE: Don't steal. The government hates competition.
- Times staff writers Colleen Jenkins and Mary Ann Koslasky compiled this report.
[Last modified April 18, 2003, 13:17:45]
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