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Elaborate try to beat drug test foiled

An 18-year-old turns to an odd device to pass a drug test but never gets to use it.

By JAMIE JONES, Times Staff Writer
© St. Petersburg Times
published April 24, 2003


HUDSON -- Robert Romano stayed up late on Monday, eating pills.

The 18-year-old knew he had to visit his probation officer the next afternoon. He knew he might have to take a drug test.

But he wasn't worried.

He had the "Whizzinator," a $150 prosthetic penis that could be filled with urine and used during a drug test.

Romano said he had passed drug tests for years. Typically, he uses a substance called "The Stuff," which cleanses the body of toxins.

But this time, Romano decided to try the "Whizzinator," which he borrowed from a friend. It was foolproof, his friends swore.

"If you get caught with the Whizzinator, it's your own fault," Romano said. "It's the best."

So Romano crawled out of his king-sized water bed on Tuesday morning and put on the device. He pulled on blue shorts and a Polo shirt, made sure the "Whizzinator" could not be detected, and then went to the probation office in Hudson.

A little nervous but mostly confident, he walked inside.

The "Whizzinator" is among an arsenal of tools available to drug users who hope to outsmart their probation officers.

Romano, a Hudson High dropout who has been in and out of jail for the past two years, said his friends frequently compare notes on the best ways to beat drug tests.

One of the more popular methods is "The Stuff," a carbohydrate mixture that supposedly cleanses the body of toxins. Romano said he has had great success passing drug tests after gulping the liquid.

But the product has gotten mixed reviews from friends, Romano said.

"You're taking a chance with 'The Stuff,' " he said. "It's like Russian roulette. You never know if you're going to get sent back to jail. You're playing with your life."

Earlier this week, Romano said one of his friends showed him the "Whizzinator." His friend's device has passed through any number of probation offices in Pasco County, and has helped quite a few people receive clean urine tests, Romano said.

He had been released from the New Port Richey jail on April 3 and didn't want to go back. Romano had been serving time for a burglary.

About a week after his release, he started smoking marijuana again, a habit he picked up when he was about 10, Romano said.

He turned to the "Whizzinator" for help.

To use the device, he placed someone else's urine in a cup. He heated the urine to 102 degrees in a microwave and then, using a syringe, placed it in a pouch attached to a prosthetic penis, he said.

He said his friends favor the device because a probation officer, and camera, watch to make sure someone is not trying to substitute urine during a test. With this device, Romano could flip a switch and everything would look real, he said.

But shortly after he arrived at the probation office, he was handcuffed. No drug test. His probation officer told him he was going to jail.

He had been on house arrest, and his probation officer said he had gone somewhere he was not supposed to go, Romano said.

On Tuesday afternoon, Romano was placed into a patrol car and taken to the Land O'Lakes jail. Since he had nothing else to lose, he came clean: He told a sheriff's deputy that he was wearing the "Whizzinator."

Romano was charged with trying to willfully defraud a urine test.

In jail on Wednesday, Romano balanced his head on his hand, his brown eyes looking around the gray room. Despite his tattoos -- the word "Outlaw," a tribal band and his initials -- he looks like a clean-cut 18-year-old, who is 5 feet 8 and 160 pounds, with short brown hair.

Playful at times, melancholy at times, Romano said he hated being back in jail. But he said he doesn't see much of a life for himself on the outside.

He said he has no real goals, no places he's dying to see. "It's sad to say, but you aren't missing nothing out there in Pasco County," he said.

He said he spends his days lying on a cot, thinking about a girl from the neighborhood. He said he's ready to do his time and then get back to his home in Hudson.

He said he will continue talking to his friends about the best ways to beat drug tests.

He would recommend the "Whizzinator," noting that officers did not detect the device while patting him down.

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