Side show

This month's celebrity quote quiz

1. "The only difference between my life and your life is that I have weirdos who follow me and take pictures and are obsessed with things that you don't understand why they're obsessed with them."

a) Madonna, on journalists.

b) Jennifer Aniston, insisting that she is a regular person like you and me.

c) Kelly Clarkson, who didn't understand fame until she won American Idol.

2. "It's people who hyperventilate about seeing you who freak me out."

a) Paul Walker, who didn't understand fame until be became a Fast and Furious heartthrob.

b) Jennifer Lopez, giving her initial impression of Ben Affleck.

c) Adrien Brody, on life after Oscar.

3. "I'm a late, late, late bloomer. Until they wipe the drool off me, I'm a late bloomer."

a) Hilary Duff, 15-year-old show business veteran

b) John Mayer, 25, promising that eventually he will have his own sound and not imitate Dave Matthews.

c) Robert Duvall, 72, unnecessarily lacking in self-esteem.

4. "People trying to escape the past . . . I mean, every Bruce Springsteen song is about that."

a) Simon Cowell, countering criticism that the songs being written for the next American Idol winner's album will be unoriginal dreck.

b) John Cusack, saying that the plot of his movie Identity is universal.

c) Jeff Probst, Survivor host, on why people still audition for reality TV shows in droves.

5. "How do you think I got this cool, man? I certainly wasn't like this before I married her."

a) Bruce Springsteen, on wife Patty Scialfa (and underestimating himself).

b) Michael Douglas, on wife Catherine Zeta-Jones (and overestimating himself).

c) Tim McGraw, on wife Faith Hill (and giving a fair assessment of himself).

6. "I'm obsessed with having the perfect linens. I sleep a lot."

a) Reese Witherspoon, confirming her Type A reputation.

b) 50 Cent, revealing his sensitive side.

c) Ben Affleck, on a campaign to convince people that he's as much of a diva as fiancee Lopez.

7. "I had to sober up in my dotage. Colin has not come to terms with that yet."

a) Bono, on party boy/fellow Irishman Colin Farrell.

b) Bruce Willis, on onetime co-star Farrell.

c) Joel Schumacher, director of Phone Booth, on his star, Farrell.

d) Bonus answer: all the above.

8. "Broadway ought to give me the money because they can't survive without stuff like this. They're going to die of old age."

a) Russell Simmons, who's pouring a lot of money into Russell Simmons Def Poetry Jam on Broadway and not getting much back.

b) Bill Maher, in fine form while preparing a one-man Broadway show.

c) John Travolta, flummoxed as to why no one wants him to do a few weeks of guest appearances in the struggling musical version of Urban Cowboy.

9. "You don't really see Keanu Reeves on the street handing out things for The Matrix, do you?"

a) Keanu Reeves, referring to himself in the third person while explaining his movie-promotion limits.

b) Robert Downey Jr., willing to do only so much to promote his first big post-jail movie role, in The Singing Detective, due in October.

c) Roger Fan, who stood in Times Square to hand out promotions for his movie Better Luck Tomorrow.

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