It was difficult caring for Ryan Fair, brain-damaged since birth. But his family wouldn't have had it any other way.
By MARTY CLEAR
Published May 2, 2003
BEACH PARK - Ryan Fair never spoke a word in his short life. But he taught invaluable lessons to everyone around him.
Ryan was just 15 years old when he died April 25. He was born with a cyst in his brain that resulted from a disease his mother contracted during pregnancy.
"We lived in Winston-Salem, and my wife was bitten by a tick in her third month of pregnancy, and she contracted Lyme disease," said Ryan's father, Russell Fair. "Ryan's brain was damaged. He was a quadriplegic. He couldn't feed himself, and he was in diapers for 15 years."
Ryan's condition made the day-to-day life of the Fair family difficult. His parents never had a single evening out together since 1987. Their two daughters, ages 16 and 7, never experienced a vacation. The family of five survived on a single income because Ryan's mother, Charlotte Fair, needed to be a full-time caregiver.
"We suffered a lot," Russell Fair said. "We had the electricity turned off, the water turned off. It hasn't been easy."
Though the family struggled, they wouldn't have had it any other way.
"All he could do was laugh or cry," his father said. "I never heard him call me dad, I never got to take him fishing. But when he would laugh, it would just make your heart glow."
Ryan helped teach his family to appreciate the simple pleasures, Russell Fair said. Ryan loved to listen to a music box or watch the lights on a Christmas tree. One of the few things he could do was hold a bottle, and he delighted in drinking Yoo-hoo.
But more than that, his father said, Ryan taught the family about selfless and unconditional love.
Ryan had two sisters, Scarlett, who will be 17 later this month, and Savannah, who will turn 8 on Sunday. Both sacrificed a lot for their brother, whom they called Bubba, and neither got the attention from their parents that they deserved. But never once did either of them complain or express any resentment.
"Ryan taught our family, all of us, a lot of lessons," Russell Fair said. "We could have been a normal family where the kids don't give a cr- about anything. But our kids are so kind and so caring, and they're very accepting of people who are different. All three of the kids deserve to be nominated for sainthood."
Ryan also gave the Fair family an opportunity to discover how giving others can be.
"We've seen so many acts of kindness over the past 15 years," Russell Fair said. "It's unbelievable. Dr. (Richard) Gunderman was his doctor for his entire life, and never once did we see a bill from him."
Those acts of kindness didn't end with Ryan's death. Since his passing, friends, acquaintances and even strangers have donated to the Ryan Fair Memorial Fund, established to help the family financially.
Local radio personality Jack Harris recently called the family and told Scarlett and Savannah to pick out bicycles at Dud Thames' Bike Shop on MacDill Avenue. Harris wants to pick up the bill.
Ryan's death wasn't sudden, but it was peaceful. Both of his parents were holding him in their arms when the brain damage finally claimed his life.
His father admits that, mixed with the mourning, the family feels a sense of relief.
"I think we're all looking forward to experiencing some normalcy," he said. "But the real relief is in knowing he won't be suffering anymore."
The normalcy may have to wait a few more days. The Fair family has an almost surreal weekend ahead.
"Saturday, we'll have Ryan's memorial service in the back yard," Russell Fair said. "Then Sunday, we'll have Savannah's eighth birthday party in the back yard."
- Donations can be made to the Ryan Fair Memorial Fund, c/o attorney James Hines Jr., 315 S Hyde Park Ave., Tampa, FL 33606.
