My friend, J.C. Spitznagel, claims that just because his birth certificate would show that he's 66 doesn't mean he isn't 30. "I feel the same as I did when I was 28," he says proudly.
I hear that a lot.
A popular jock during my high school days, now 69, tells me, "I'm still shaken when young girls look right through me. I forget that I'm bald now." Not to mention his belly, which only his wife could consider cute.
For women, the difference between the age they feel and the age they look can be even more of a shock. As my wife says, "Sometimes that old lady I see in the mirror frightens me half to death. Who is she, anyway?"
Sound familiar? I'll bet you fall into that famous 30-year-lapse now and then, the "Oh-my-god-I-look-so-old-but-still -feel-35" syndrome.
Try explaining that to a 35-year-old.
Yeah right, Pops.
That's the problem, isn't it? No one told us what it would be like to be old. Most Americans, with our cultural accent on firm thighs, toned muscles, and all things young, thin and beautiful, don't see folks like us. We're invisible. Just as 50-somethings and older were invisible to us not long ago.
Remember?
Last week, when my young doctor tried to make me believe that taking medication for high blood pressure was a rite of passage, I rebelled. "What do you mean?" I demanded. "I'm way too young for high blood pressure. I feel too good."
That was the 30-year-old talking. That same 30-year-old who gives me such pleasure when I look at an attractive young woman. The 30-year-old who lets me eat more cholesterol and take more sun than my doctor advises. That 30-year-old who pushes me to physical challenges that were accomplished easily 25 years ago, but now demand heavy payment.
So what do we do with this loudmouthed youngster living within us?
Celebrate, that's what!
Honor the truth that growing old isn't so terrible. We may have to get up at night more often than we used to, but when morning comes, we value the rest of our lives as never before. With our mortality now well in focus, we try to make every day count.
We still reach out, as we did when we were 30, for a more successful life. And today, we have the time to reinvent ourselves and fulfill dreams.
Think about it. Without that energetic youngster within us, the one with the full head of hair, good looks and great muscle tone, we'd probably be exactly what we used to think about old people. Miserable. Crabby. Pathetic. Ready to shuffleboard right off this earthly plane.
In reality - and this is a great secret kept from the young - most of us get better with age. We become more generous and attentive to the needs of others. More patient with fools. More compassionate and sympathetic to those around us.
And here's a bonus: We oldsters now appreciate the other sex twice as much. We remember vividly what it was like to lust after an attractive 18-year-old. But now we can appreciate the grace, intelligence and attractiveness of a 70-year-old as well, something that never would have occurred to us 20 years ago.
So next time you find yourself pondering how you got so old so fast, remember how fortunate you are. If some 40-year-old whipper snapper intimates that anyone over 55 is a pathetic old wimp, remind her of the Rolling Stones. Or Tina Turner. Or John Glenn.
And never forget: Honor that kid within you. He's home to your spunk, your spirit and your - Frank Kaiser is a nationally syndicated columnist living in Clearwater. His Web site, www.suddenlysenior.com includes nostalgia, trivia, senior humor and 3111 Best Senior Links. Write Frank c/o Seniority, the Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731 or e-mail at floridian@sptimes.com
