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Dale Carnegie once said, "Happiness doesn't depend on who you are or what you have. It depends solely on what you think."
While no one can expect to be happy all the time, there are some people who seem to radiate happiness more than others.
It's not that happy people are unaware of life's downs, but they have learned how to balance the bad with the good. They are better able to cope with anxiety and distress.
Unhappy people approach life with a different mind set. They often place the blame for their unhappiness on something or someone other than themselves. They tend to become cynical and have difficulty trusting others.
True happiness has little to do with money or material things, but has more to do with how you nurture your mind.
If you want to bring more happiness into your life, start by investigating some of the negative habits you have been harboring. Once we create the habits, the habits then create us.
Here are strategies that could help boost your happiness level.
1. Take charge of your feelings.
Recognize the value in working toward your own happiness and assume responsibility for your actions and feelings. Do not waste time feeling like you are a victim; it's better to take charge and focus on ways to solve your problems.
2. Learn to deal with negative emotions.
Anger and anxiety are the No. 1 enemies of happiness. When they occur, don't deny the feelings, acknowledge them, then step back and give yourself a time-out by counting to 10 and taking deep breaths. This will help you regain control of most situations; patience and tolerance are antidotes to negative mind sets.
3. Energize your life.
Research has shown that when people lack energy, they worry excessively and the most minor problems seem insurmountable. By contrast, high energy creates upbeat, positive moods.
Exercise can make you feel better by reducing tension and increasing your energy level. When your energy level is low, go for a 10-minute walk. Energy begets energy; if you put a little energy into motion, you will receive double energy in return.
4. Give out a little sunshine.
Acts of personal kindness such as paying a compliment to someone, sharing in a conversation or just taking time to listen might make someone's day a little brighter.
5. Put on a friendly face.
Smiling, even when you don't feel like it, will make you feel better. Project the mood that you want to feel; positive actions produce positive emotions.
6. Think gratitude.
Count your blessings. Make a list of all the things you have to be thankful for: family, friends, home, etc. Then write a gratitude list, include everything that happened during the day, for which you can be grateful.
7. Choose to be an optimist.
Attitude is everything. How you react to situations is your choice. Optimists have a sense of control. They believe good things will last a long time and they label bad things as temporary events.
A pessimist suffers from what psychologist call "learned helplessness" - always expecting the worse. If you tend to be a pessimist, set aside one day a week where you start to confront the habit. On that day, try not to criticize or complain.
8. Make lemonade out of lemons.
Choose to turn problems into opportunities. After you have dealt with the problem, ask yourself what have you gained from the experience and how can you grow from it.
9. Find a hobby.
Hobbies give you a reprieve from the daily responsibilities of life, by helping you to downshift from the stresses of daily living.
10. Be realistic in your expectations.
Many people believe they can alter their unhappy feelings through the love of another person. It is unrealistic to expect others to be responsible for your happiness. You may receive support from a loved one, but you are the only person accountable for creating your own happiness.
- Sally Anderson is happy to hear from readers but cannot respond to individual queries. Write her in care of Seniority, St. Petersburg Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731; or send e-mail to slafit@tampabay.rr.com