Everything about Hulk screams older audience: the violence, the brief nudity, the PG-13 rating. So why are the preschool toy aisles filled with all things green?
By SHARON KENNEDY WYNNE
Published July 3, 2003
Oh, Hulk, you don't know what angry is.
Because you have a tough time with frustration, you may sympathize with the mother of a 5-year-old whose world has been colored green the past two months leading up to the blockbuster movie.
Now mind you, this is a PG-13 movie. It's supposed to be for teenagers. It has violence, brief nudity and strong language.
So tell me, why are the preschool toy aisles filled with Hulk Hands, the Smash and Crush Hulk with Military Truck, Raging Hulk action figures, Hulk water guns and swim goggles and video games that are rated T, meaning not for little kids?
Grant you, all the summer movies come with lots of tie-ins, and Spider-man was a little sticky, too, but the buildup to Hulk was monstrous.
"Hulk Hands, I gotta have Hulk Hands, Mommy," he said after seeing the oversized boxing gloves that roar when they smash against something. Just the kind of behavior I want to encourage.
I managed to skirt that purchase without a meltdown, thanks to a newly instituted allowance. When he realized that the $17 Hulk Hands would eat up every penny he had saved, buying them didn't seem so urgent.
I guess I should thank Hulk for that object lesson. But then I would have to admit to indulging my son with Hulk junk because I was grateful for the good behavior.
My guess is that when my son starts kindergarten this year, he will be among the few who haven't seen the movie. Many parents just can't weather such a Hulking wave of hype.
And in order to preview the movie, we would have to get a babysitter ($20 at least) and buy two tickets to a movie that we don't care to see ($15-$25, depending on the popcorn).
Under the circumstances, I'm relying on a secret weapon. Its name is TiVo, and it lets me search our cable system's database of shows with a single keyword and record at will.
So, yes, our household now has a set of Hulk underwear, a Hulk T-shirt that glows in the dark and Hulk ice pops in the freezer. But it's the 1980s cartoon The Incredible Hulk (ABC Family Channel, 10:30 a.m. Saturday and Sunday), that's occupying our screen until this blockbuster gets to Blockbuster.
So Hulk, don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry.
