This 'Cradle' fails to rock

In a sequel that's all talk and little action, Lara Croft looks the part but goes nowhere fast.

Some kind of excitement constantly lurks beneath the surface of Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life, a sequel even more unwieldy than its title. There's always the feeling that something big is about to happen in the next minute, then the next 10 minutes; then you hope something exciting happens before the movie ends.

Angelina Jolie returns as Lara Croft, a solitaire league of extraordinary woman, an archaeologist derived from a video game played by people who otherwise wouldn't have much interest in what archaeologists do. Think Indiana Jones on Pilates, since great care is taken to show off Jolie's physical attributes while she travels around the world in search of a glowing bocce ball.

Actually, it's a glowing orb from the lost Luna Temple that was stolen from Lara's grasp by Chinese commandos dealing with a Euro-trash madman and blah, blah, blah. Plot doesn't mean anything here, since the orb isn't the ultimate goal but only a map to find the legendary Pandora's box that can unleash global disasters that everyone keeps talking about but director Jan de Bont doesn't wish to show us.

The Cradle of Life is simply a procession of tight scrapes for Lara and tighter costumes for Jolie, who is suitably limber with everything except her fake British accent. The director and screenwriter Dean Georgaris begin with a Greek wedding-reception earthquake shaking the Luna Temple from its centuries-old location so everyone can find it. Yet everything inside remains perfectly dry and intact, in a huge air pocket, until the proper moment for it to collapse (i.e., when Lara's in there).

That destruction sets the pace for de Bont's action sequences, manufactured mayhem resembling one of those disaster rides at a theme park: One imagines the hydraulic columns and walls being uprighted again after the scene, for the next tram to ride through. Lara's escape - she cuts her arm to attract a shark that she can ride to the surface - offers the first feeling that we're watching a movie created by a video game designer.

Cherish that mentality, because it's lasting for a while. Lara trains by riding a horse and shooting targets that drop from tree limbs, then spars with martial arts sticks before proceeding to the next level: teaming with a former lover, the bland rogue Terry Sheridan (Gerard Butler) to find the orb. Their motorcycle dash across China looks like a video game, and their later skydive and 3-mile glide off a tall building make a viewer want to punch those A and B buttons fast to keep them aloft. We also get some cave monsters to dodge when everyone convenes at the Cradle of Life, where Pandora's box is stashed.

Through it all, Lara remains coolly invincible, a nice pose for a video game player but not exciting in the movies. Even Indiana Jones and James Bond get nervous once in a while. Nothing is urgent for a hero who needs only to hit the reset button to survive.

The plot gets needlessly complex, but don't worry. There's always some new character in the scene for someone else to explain everything to, even through a translator when Lara and Terry go to Africa. The talk-to-action ratio in this movie is weighed heavily toward gab. Unless drooling over Jolie or Butler is your idea of excitement, Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life is a bland addition to this summer's overdose of action. But just look at those abs.

Grade: C-

Director: Jan de Bont

Cast: Angelina Jolie, Gerard Butler, Ciaran Hinds, Noah Taylor, Christopher Barrie, Djimon Hounsou

Screenplay: Dean Georgaris

Rating: PG-13; action violence, profanity, sensuality

Running time: 110 min.

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