Not to start the day out morbidly or anything, but I have come to a decision about death.
I don't want an obituary. I want a box score.
I love box scores, those daily summations of a baseball game's life. Frankly, I think other areas of life should have box scores, too. Such as television shows: "Look, Rachel has now kissed 27,763 people on Friends, a new series record!"
Ah, the box score. Right there, in those precious little letters and numbers, you can translate everything you really need to know about a game you really wanted to watch until you found out Charade was on AMC, and by the time you checked back Doug Waechter was out of the game and It Takes a Thief was about to start.
At any rate, I read the box scores every morning. And when it comes to the Rays, I'm looking for four things.
What is Rocco Baldelli's batting average?
Did Carl Crawford steal a base?
Did Aubrey Huff go deep?
And how many people gave a hoot?
This is like watching a countdown. The Rays started at 45,369, and every night, a few more people seem to find something else to do.
Let's get this straight. I'm not saying you should immediately drive to Tropicana Field and throw money at the ticket office. I'm not saying you owe the Rays a thing. More than anything, I'm not asking you to send me e-mails about what you didn't like about your last trip to the Trop.
For all the recent success, for all the young stars, the Rays remain in last place, and only the Tigers have won fewer games. Telling people they should spend money on that is like suggesting they should eat at a bad restaurant.
Lately, however, a chorus has formed to suggest the wild, wacky idea of actually spending a little on payroll. I admit, I'm singing backup on this one. Lou Piniella is singing lead.
And, yes, Vince Naimoli says payroll will go up "a reasonable" amount next year, which is terrific if "reasonable" means to him what it means to the rest of us.
Still, the talk about a better team and a bigger payroll brings this to mind:
What exactly will it take to get fans through the gates?
As they say, this is the money question. What constitutes a reason to go to a game to a community that, pretty much, hasn't?
Will a competitive, exciting team draw enough fans? If the Rays had won 13 more games, they would have been 71-71 going into Wednesday night's game. How many more fans do you think they would have had?
Will a winning record be enough? What if the Rays were having the season the Twins are having, or that of the White Sox, or the Royals? Do the Rays have to be the Yankees before anyone notices?
Will it take a new stadium, the way it did in Seattle? New ownership? More bobbleheads and fewer bobblegloves? Will it take personal appearances, every game, by a Bucs player?
At this point, nobody knows.
For years we have told each other there was a real passion for baseball around here, and we were just waiting to see some sign of commitment from the Rays. Look what happened when the Bucs got better. To a lesser degree, look at the Lightning last season.
Can it happen with the Rays?
Sometimes, you hope. Sometimes, you wonder.
Waechter, the hometown hero, made his major-league debut last week. The Rays drew fewer than 9,000. He made his second start Wednesday. Again, fewer than 9,000.
Gee. You wonder what the Rays would have drawn if Waechter had been from, say, Left Nostril, Montana?
What if Piniella weren't so popular?
What if they didn't have a rookie of the year candidate in Baldelli?
What if Huff wasn't having the best season a Rays player has ever had?
What if you couldn't get $1 seats in the Beach?
Gee. Then I guess some seats would really be empty, huh?
Hey, no one is suggesting there should be sellouts. But wouldn't you think the Rays' nice little second half would draw a few more fans?
There are times you see the empty seats and you wonder if you are watching a team die on the vine. The Rays have played 74 home dates this season. Of those, 32 have had fewer than 10,000 in attendance. Only four times have the Rays had as many as 20,000.
With seven home games left the Rays are on the low side of a million. They'll have to average more than 11,000 to get there.
Here, then, is the question. What is it going to take to draw serious numbers from Tampa Bay?
Once more: This isn't defending the Rays. They've spent six years running fans away with bonehead decisions and awful marketing. The organization has asked for too much patience, and too much inconvenience, from its fans.
But as a fan base, Tampa Bay has questions to answer too. If this really is a major-league market, shouldn't it be doing better than eight grand a night?
Piniella will tell you the Rays can still make it work. Yes, there is more of a buzz. Yes, more commitment from ownership means more competitiveness, which should help. Maybe there is still a chance.
After six seasons this is what we know: Fans won't support this.
The only chance, then, is to dig deep, to spend a little money, to realize what the costs of major-league baseball are.
That's true of the ownership.
It's true of the fan base, too.