Silly ideas: Your inbox and Byrd are full of them
By HOWARD TROXLER, Times Columnist
© St. Petersburg Times
published September 12, 2003
With House Speaker Johnnie Byrd using Florida's databases of auto tags, state employees and anything else he can get his hands on, and now that he's intercepting the e-mails of individual House members to build his own mailing lists, pretty soon all of our e-mailboxes might look like this:
Subject: Fair and balanced survey
Hi. Johnnie Byrd here! Recently you might have sent an e-mail to your state legislator, your state government, or really, anybody else whose computer that I have managed to tap into. I'm seeking your honest opinion to help us run the state government. Your opinion is important to me, so please check one below:
(1) I am a wild-eyed liberal who believes the government should take everybody's money, put it in a big pile and set it on fire using the American flag as kindling.
(2) I support Johnnie Byrd.
Please fill in your e-mail address below.
(Note: e-mail address required.)
Subject: Is Yours Big Enough?
Increase the size of your communications staff, guaranteed! No tricks, pills, creams or mechanical devices! "I went from a single, puny press secretary to a fully equipped, 13-member public-relations staff!" - J.B., Tallahassee, Florida.
Subject: DON'T IGNORE THIS E-MAIL!
This is not a joke. Reply to this e-mail and send it to 10 of your friends, family or acquaintances, and be sure to send me their e-mail addresses! J. Smith of Florida kept this letter going and won the Florida Lottery! On the other hand, F. Jones of Florida broke the chain AND HIS TAXES WENT UP. Don't be the one to break the chain!
Subject: Nigeria
Hello, I have the honor of being Jah-nee Birdh, the finance minister to the most excellent exiled prince of Nigeria. I am contacting you because I have been given your name by reliable sources as a trustworthy business partner for an exciting opportunity. If you give us all of your tax dollars and let us use them for unaudited school vouchers, then we will deposit the sum of $10-million with you, as soon as you give us your bank account number and e-mail address as well.
TIRED OF ANNOYING POP-UP ADS?
You can do something about it!
Just go to wvw.givemeyouremailaddress.com and enter your e-mail address.
Subject: Dear AOL User
Dear AOL User: Johnnie Byrd here. Are you sick and tired of liberals running everything? Do something about it, and send me your e-mail address! (Note: You will not be able to close this message without filling in the e-mail field below.)
Subject: Notice from America Online
Some of you might have received e-mail that appeared to have originated from America Online. This is due to an unauthorized access to our mainframes that appears to have originated somewhere in Florida. We can assure you that xcjsdgk;jheg;kjuhaf;ojhqerg;puhgerg;h
Subject: SoBig.gov
If you get an e-mail attachment called "SoBig.gov," then YOU HAVE A VIRUS. The only way to get rid of it is to OPEN THE ATTACHMENT and give Johnnie Byrd complete access to your personal information and all the files on your computer. In this day and age of terrorists and liberals, you can't be too safe! Don't rely on the "filter" of the media! Trust me on this!
Times columns today
Robert Trigaux: How many millions should this man make?
Ernest Hooper: Laughter at the Falls, being No. 4, Depot love
Howard Troxler: Silly ideas: Your inbox and Byrd are full of them
Colleen Jenkins: 36 pairs of panties: Cost? Total humiliation
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