Lane Ranger

Bridge tenders keep a close eye on the Alafia

If you believe in nursery rhymes, you may have heard that London Bridge is falling down.

In the Lane Ranger's estimation, such a calamity could have been prevented if London Bridge crossed the Alafia River.

On Wednesday, Hillsborough County held its third public meeting in three weeks regarding improvements to be made to a bridge over the Alafia River.

County engineers met with local residents at Lithia Springs Elementary School to discuss a $2-million project to replace the Lithia-Pinecrest Road Bridge in 2004.

On Oct. 14, a handful of residents turned out to examine plans for a $3.1-million replacement of the County Road 39 bridge that would include 10 feet of shoulders and sidewalks on both sides.

A week earlier, the county held a meeting to discuss a $1.2-million replacement of the Keysville Road Bridge over the west branch of the Alafia.

County project manager Edward Arnold said it's just a coincidence all three Alafia River bridge meetings were held in October.

A couple of years ago, the Board of County Commissioners approved about $24-million for bridge repairs and replacements.

Of all the county's bridges, the money was to go toward the 18 deemed to have the greatest need.

The other bridges picked in south and east Hillsborough:

- County Road 39 over the Little Manatee River

- County Road 672 over Hurrah Creek in Lithia

- County Road 579 over the Little Manatee and over the south fork of the Little Manatee

- Knights Griffin Road over Flint Creek in Thonotosassa

- Symmes Road over Bullfrog Creek in Riverview

- East Bay Road over Bullfrog Creek in Gibsonton

- Grange Hall Loop over the Little Manatee River

- Durant Road over Branch of Turkey Creek in Pleasant Grove

- Caruthers Road over Turkey Creek near Plant City

The bridge projects are scheduled to be completed by 2005.

THE LANE RANGER considers it his duty to answer the unanswerable, to ponder the unponderable, to probe the unprobable.

So this week, he will consider the eternal question that has led to thousands of arguments with backseat drivers nationwide: Once and for all, when is it okay to turn right on a red light?

Generally speaking, right turns on red are permissible, provided there isn't a "No right on red" sign.

But according to the Florida Driver's Handbook, one must be in "the lane next to the right edge of the roadway."

What many people don't realize is that if a road has more than one right turn lane, right turns may only be made from the far right lane, the one closest to the sidewalk.

Keep that in mind the next time you approach a red light.

WHAT WAS THAT IMMORTAL LINE from the movie Spinal Tap? "Talk about mudflaps, my girl's got 'em."

When it comes to automotive luxury, the Lane Ranger simply cannot fathom how mudflaps have failed to reach the same level as tinted windows and 20-inch rims.

Nothing can top a good Yosemite Sam mudflap for panache, sophistication and just a hint of machismo.

But mudflaps cannot be tamed, oh no. In fact, they may sometimes get you in trouble, as this week's Axie recipient proves.

A commercial trailer was traveling west on Interstate 4 recently when its right mudflap, made of rubber and metal, fell off.

A tow truck following behind tried to swerve to avoid the mudflap but couldn't. The mudflap ended up puncturing the tow truck's fuel tank.

Diesel fuel spilled all over the road and shoulder and had to be cleaned up. As for the commercial truck, its number was obtained from the mudflap. As the investigating Florida Highway Patrol trooper writes in the crash report, "I believe that the driver . . . did not have any knowledge of the loss of the mudflap."

Still, somewhere, the driver must be distraught. First he loses his mudflap. What's next? His sheepskin seat covers? His rearview-mirror Gasparilla beads? His Best of Tone Loc mix tape?

- The Lane Ranger is currently stuck in traffic. But he can be reached at cridlin@sptimes.com