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Don't feel too bad: Kids know to cash in

The baby of the family was standing before me, cupping her unclaimed tooth in her hands and sporting a trembling lip that forecast the tears about to spring forth.

I hadn't had time to rub the sleep out of my eyes, never mind down a cup of caffeine, but I wasn't concerned. I didn't even have to think fast about this one. I knew exactly what to say. This wasn't the first time I had to cover for the tooth fairy.

I confess there's a part of me that was tempted to tell my daughter that our tooth fairy, being of the female persuasion and all (since we refer to her as "she,") probably has a day job, too.

Besides doling out money, collecting molars, canines and the like and lugging them to who knows where all night long, I'm betting she has a family to tend to. She probably has a husband, who may or may not be a tooth collector and may or may not help out with the laundry, cooking, cleaning and looking after the little tooth fairyettes who need to be taxied here, there and everywhere.

And even if Mr. Tooth Fairy does help out with the household chores, I'm betting there are studies that show he doesn't contribute his 50 percent. The tooth fairy is probably exhausted. It's no wonder she was a no-show.

Sounds reasonable to me. But as a parent I have found that short, specific answers seem to work best in this kind of situation - answers that don't lead to more questions like, "Why doesn't the tooth fairy just hire a maid?" or "Why doesn't she tell her slacker tooth fairy husband to get the lead out?"

So even though it was sitting on the tip of my tongue, I saved the spiel and gave the standard answer.

"A lot of kids must have lost their teeth last night, and she probably couldn't get to them all," I told her. "Don't worry, she'll come tonight, and she'll probably have a special surprise."

"But what if . . ."

"Don't worry, just ask your brother and sister - they know."

"It'll be okay," the older brother told her. "She'll come tonight and she'll leave you extra money."

"It'll be okay," the older sister told her. "She'll come tonight and leave you a note."

No doubt a guilt-ridden note begging for forgiveness.

Even after the note and the extra change, the tooth fairy, being of the female persuasion and all, will probably worry that the oversight might scar this child for life and perhaps lead to future psychotherapy and the publishing of a Tooth Fairy Dearest book that would haunt her for the rest of her days.

But kids are resilient. They bounce back, or so they say.

In this case, I know it to be true.

The littlest one proved it to me a few weeks later when she lost yet another tooth and entered a battle of the wits with the tooth fairy by hiding the tooth in a very good spot. Of course she didn't tell anyone where. Not her brother or sister. Not even her parents.

Fortunately, it seems the tooth fairy knows how to think like a 7-year-old and found the tooth. It was locked up tight in a pink ballerina jewelry box with a stack of treasures - blocks, shells, stones - all piled on top.

Somehow the tooth fairy made her way around the 7-year-old's booby trap without waking the little darling up. She left the cash inside the jewelry box and piled all the treasures back on top in true battle-of-the-wits form.

The littlest one was thrilled and very impressed at the tooth fairy's prowess. "That's one strong fairy," she said.

Later, she confessed to having an ulterior motive for making the tooth fairy work so hard.

"I was kind of hoping the tooth fairy wouldn't find the tooth," the littlest one told me. "Then she'd have to leave me extra money the next night."

Call it resiliency. Call it bouncing back. Call it making the most of a situation or a lesson in raw capitalism.

Whatever the case, it's nothing for the tooth fairy to feel guilty about.

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