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I need film. I need pancake syrup and broccoli. I need jackets for the children, because the temperature will drop any day now.
But do I need to buy these things at Wal-Mart?
Am I caving? Am I corrupted? Is all hope lost when I walk through those doors and submit to the pink already-paid-for sticker on my water bottle and allow the blue-clad "greeter" to hand me a cart?
Might I just relinquish that last shred of dignity and call the thing "a buggy"?
So goes my Discover card and so goes America.
In case you haven't noticed, we have a new Wal-Mart Supercenter on the stretch of Gunn Highway where Carrollwood bleeds into Citrus Park.
There was a big hoo-ha about the sizeof the signs. I have to say they blend nicely into the pristine landscape of Ruby Tuesday and Hollywood Video. The community wants a Moral Courage Award for standing up to Wal-Mart over road improvements. Give them one. It doesn't cost much.
The bigger question is: Will you stand up to Wal-Mart? Will I stand up to Wal-Mart?
If you look around, it seems a lot of us are lying down.
Despite their propensity for driving mom-and-pops out of business, despite past allegations of artistic censorship and sweatshop purchasing and hostility toward organized labor, we can't stay away.
Florida shoppers have opened their wallets to 61 regular Wal-Marts and 92 Wal-Mart Supercenters, not to mention 37 members-only Sam's Club stores.
Is that it?
Hardly. Wal-Mart wants to turn its Town 'N Country store into a Supercenter. As if the mega-Wal-Mart north of Wharton High School were not enough, there's talk of a supercenter in nearby Wesley Chapel. And one in Tarpon Springs, to complement the bustling Oldsmar supercenter.
Ever been to a supercenter? They pack groceries, clothing, household goods and sporting gear all under one roof. Throw in a McDonald's, a vision center, a place to buy tires and get your oil changed, a hair salon, a nail salon, a one-hour photo lab and a pharmacy. You can even fill your tank with gas.
The big draw is the bargain pricing, understandable if you survived one day of freshman economics.
And, despite the scandals and bad press, the company always manages to re-invent itself.
"Buy American," they used to proclaim. When buying American proved too expensive, they rephrased the message along the lines of: "We buy American when we can."
They celebrate their new store openings with a publicity blitz rivaled only, perhaps, by Krispy Kreme.
We carried 14 stories in North of Tampa alone that announced or mentioned the opening of this particular Wal-Mart.
That didn't stop their public relations people from calling us three times before and after last week's grand opening to make sure we got their press releases, and to ask if we would attend.
They detailed the money they are contributing to local schools and charities - $16,500 to the Boys and Girls Clubs, Sickles High School, even Wildlife on Easy Street got a check.
Know how much Wal-Mart cleared worldwide in its last three-month reporting period?A cool $2.3-billion, a record for the Arkansas-based corporation.
By coincidence, those press releases arrived as news broke of the federal immigration sweep. It seems Wal-Mart was caught using cleaning crews that employed hundreds of undocumented workers. The probe is ongoing, and the sweeps happened outside Florida.
But it's interesting. The company claimed, in its defense, that it relied on contractors to supply the cleaning crews. On contractors. How lame is that?
Since then, the New York Times has carried accounts of immigrants who say they worked without days off, living on $6 an hour in the New York area. Separately, Wal-Mart workers have filed a rash of class action suits alleging they were pushed to work beyond their shifts.
Wal-Mart has denied pressuring employees to work off the clock.
Hey. What big employer hasn't been sued?
My husband, who never boasted a social conscience, sniffed when he saw my shopping bags. "You went to Wal-Mart?" he asked, as if he expected me to boycott.
I've got enough reasons to dislike myself. I won't apologize for looking for a bargain. In a few more years, we might all be shopping at Wal-Mart.
When there is no place else to go.