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CECILIA A. TUCKERPart 2 of 2
I decided to pass off what I saw as a mistake; I desperately wanted to believe this would never happen again, but I was wrong. No, I didn't happen upon "them" again. But it was very clear to me that things were not the same around our house anymore, and I knew why.
Several times I was suspicious about phone calls being made and received in our house. There were hangup calls when anyone but my parent answered the phone. I watched and listened to everything going on in our household; I knew the curtain was getting ready to fall. This so-called "family" I had thought would last forever was coming to an end.
Then it happened. I overheard my parents having a very heated discussion one night. They thought I was asleep. I listened intently to what was being said. I could tell lies were being told, and the truth would never be found out if I didn't speak up.
I opened my door and walked right into the middle of that stormy discussion. My parents immediately stopped talking and asked me to go back to bed. I didn't move. I had to speak, but I couldn't. Just as my parent had looked me straight in the eyes, I decided to do the same. This will be a truth or dare stare down. But still no words were spoken.
The truth was not going to be told and I knew it and so did my parent who had been unfaithful. I did ask what was happening, and I was told they would talk to us tomorrow. I went back into my room, but I didn't fall asleep the rest of the night. It was the longest night of my life.
Morning came; it was the weekend. We all sat down to eat breakfast, and my deceitful parent announced they were getting a divorce. We were all told it had nothing to do with us. But it had everything to do with us. They weren't the only ones splitting up; it was our family.
We were asked if we had any questions; I wanted to ask the "big one," but I didn't. We all walked away from the table in silence. The parent who had the affair left, and the divorce proceedings began. It seemed my family was going to be just another "broken home" statistic. But remember, I knew the truth. I wasn't naive enough to think my parents had never had any problems, but I thought they both respected each other enough not to go the unfaithful route. What a cheap shot and a chicken's way out.
I couldn't be silent anymore, so I talked with someone I trusted. I told that person what I had seen and asked for advice about what to do. After several weeks of venting, I decided I needed to confront my parent and see what the story really was. I called and asked for us to meet. I was scared to death, but I knew I had to speak.
I started with the facts as I remembered them, and much to my surprise there were no lies. I learned more than I had bargained for and was told I could tell my other parent whatever because it didn't really matter anymore.
I left the meeting feeling worse, and yet I knew I had at least spoken the truth and confronted my parent. I decided it was not my place to tell my other parent, but I did decide I would not be a part of any more deceit. I don't know if I can ever forgive my parents for not figuring out a way to stay together. I don't want our family to be "just another statistic."
So much for what I want; when my parent made the final move to have an affair, it was obvious to me it was not about "the children" anymore. Will I ever feel better again?
At least, going through this situation has made me a stronger person.
- IT! Private thoughts of the Indomitable Teen is written by Cecilia A. Tucker under the editorial guidance of a panel of teenagers (in exchange for pizza and volunteer hours). Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist at the Counseling Center for New Direction in Seminole. Comments are welcome. You may write c/o: IT!, Xpress, the Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731, or e-mail Floridian@sptimes.com If you are interested in being on the teen editorial panel, please contact Cecilia Tucker at revcecilia@msn.com