The suspense is killing me. The University of Miami, by gum, is about to be strict. Who knows how long it will last?
One quarter?
One half?
One coin flip?
Yessir, Kellen Winslow Jr. learns his lesson Saturday. He is going to write on the blackboard a number of times that has yet to be decided. He is going to spend some time in detention, although exactly how much it will take seems to be a secret.
This is where we are with discipline in college football these days. Miami has had enough of Winslow's occasional forays over the edge, and by golly, it's going to throw the book at him. How thick that book might be, and how hard the throw will be, are anyone's guess.
Personally, I figure it goes about like this: The first time Miami faces third down, and the first time new quarterback Derrick Crudup looks wide-eyed at the bench, then coach Larry Coker is going to figure that Winslow has done his time.
"Are you ready to charge San Juan Hill, soldier?" Coker will say.
"I wish to save Private Ryan, sir!" Winslow will say. Then he'll salute.
And, justice having run its course, Winslow will run his.
Ah, kids. Sometimes, you don't want to punish them. You just have to.
Even if it costs them a catch or two.
Winslow, as you probably know, is the tightly wound tight end who confused the war in Iraqwith third and 7. Winslow, a gloriously talented player, lost all touch with reality in a postgame meltdown, referring to football as war, himself as a soldier and to his opponents thusly: "They will kill you. ... I'm going to kill them."
Now, everyone agrees these are absurd statements, especially given the timing. Winslow spoke his silliness three days before Veterans Day, on a day suicide bombs killed more than 20 people in Iraq. If there was ever a time to know better, it is now. And in a just world, Winslow's punishment would have included a little time at a veterans hospital, just so he would know the difference.
The thing is, Winslow isn't being punished for what he said. He's being punished because he's gone over the edge on the field, too.
Each of the past two weeks, Winslow has been penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct. Against Virginia Tech, he punched a linebacker. Against Tennessee, he took off his helmet to celebrate a touchdown (and said it had been ripped off). He also stood on the sideline, yelling at opposing players.
Winslow's father, Hall of Fame tight end Kellen Winslow, was justifiably concerned. The elder Winslow told the New York Times he had warned his son about the way reporters bait athletes into making controversial comments.
Yep. It's that darned media's fault. Of course. Same thing happened with the Dixie Chicks.
At any rate, this is great drama, guessing the over-under on how many huddles Winslow misses out on. It's a brilliant punishment, because if you don't tell anyone how long it's going to last, how can anyone debate if it is strict enough? I expect circuit judges to adapt this game plan any day.
A few years ago, Auburn placed a similar suspension on quarterback Jeff Burger. And sure enough, Burger started the game on the bench ... for one whole play. Then he ran onto the field, and he received a standing ovation. If anything, Burger was rewarded for breaking the rules.
It's that way all over these days. Remember back when Bear Bryant threw Joe Namath off the team for breaking team rules? Those days are gone.
(To tell the truth, not every school had those days to begin with. A few years ago, former Georgia coach Wally Butts was talking about Frankie Sinkwich. At the time, Butts had a rule against married players. One day, Sinkwich walked into his office and said, "Coach, I got married over the weekend." Butts' story ended this way: "I did what I had to do. I changed the darn rule.")
These days, a lot of rules are getting changed, and a lot of landings appear to be softer.
Ohio State recently punished linebacker Robert Reynolds for choking an opposing player in a pileup. The penalty? One game. Nebraska punished cornerback Kellen Huston for punching a Missouri fan in the face during an on-game celebration. His sentence? One game. Penn State recently suspended receiver Tony Johnson after drunken driving charges. His sentence? Two games. Then again, Joe Paterno always was a disciplinarian.
Wouldn't it be a grand idea if the American Football Coaches Association would take a stand toward a more uniform punishment scale? If a player receives two unsportsmanlike penalties (think of them as red cards in soccer), he misses one game. If a player blows off classes or team rules, he receives two. If his transgression includes excessive violence against coaches, opponents or spectators, it's three. If he's charged with a felony, he sits out until his situation is cleared up.
As it is, no one has iron fists anymore. If football coaches ran the penal system, what we would end up with is a lot of criminals running stadium steps.
