IT!

I'm tired of being your servant

Sometimes, I think you believe my job in life is to be your personal servant. I know you are going to laugh when you read this because you think I want you to be my personal servant. Well, you are right. I would like that, but I know that will never happen so I don't even try anymore, contrary to what you might think.

This is how I see what comes down between us; it makes me feel like nothing more than the member of a paid staff.

When you walk in at night, you start on me. You don't come home and ask me how my day was and see what has been happening in my life. You go straight to the list of things you left for me to complete and see if I have checked them all off. Then you go around and inspect what I have done to see what I didn't do up to "your" standards.

Next you announce to me what I have to redo before I will be allowed "screen time" as you call it. I hate living in a single-parent family and being the "other parent." I didn't ask to be in this situation. Why is it my job to fill in the gaps just because I am the oldest kid? I will be happier than you can imagine when it is my time to leave this place and go away to college.

Every afternoon I come home early just to be with the younger kids. Most of my other friends play sports, have a job or just hang out some after school, but I don't. I have to be the responsible one and come straight home after school. Not only do you expect me to do my chores, but I get in trouble if the younger kids don't do their chores.

Sometimes, I think they see me as their parent more than either of their "real" parents. But you never let me forget that I don't have the right to discipline or correct them, just the responsibility to make them "do what they are supposed to do."

This is the way things look to me. I do not work for you. I am sure of that because I never see a paycheck for the work I do around here. I know I am just supposed to be grateful for the roof over my head, the clothes on my back and the food in my stomach. Trust me - I know that lecture by heart!

I am not your children's parent. I may never have children after having to raise yours. I am not even 16 yet, and I am tired of wiping snotty noses and helping little kids read. I hate being the one who seems to have to carry out your dirty work with them.

I am the one who tells them they can't watch television in the afternoon and they can't play with their friends until their homework and chores are done or you will be angry. Why is that my job? It is another one of my jobs because you are not here.

Do I sound angry? You bet I am, and I am mad at you. This is not my house. These are not my kids, and these are not the teenage years I had planned on. I didn't make our living situation this way, and I am tired of feeling that nothing I do is ever good enough for you.

I think you should be a little more appreciative of what I do for you, because it isn't all bad and it isn't my responsibility. But the real reason I wish you were more appreciative of what I do is that I want you to recognize me and give me a few affirming words about my effort.

Believe it or not, I try really hard to please you. I wish some day you would come home and notice what I have done for you lately.

- IT! Private thoughts of the Indomitable Teen is written by Cecilia Tucker under the editorial guidance of a panel of teenagers (in exchange for pizza and volunteer hours). Tucker is a licensed marriage and family therapist at the Counseling Center for New Direction in Seminole. Comments are welcome. You may write c/o: IT!, Xpress, the Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731, or e-mail Floridian@sptimes.com If you are interested in being on the teen editorial panel, please contact Cecilia Tucker at revcecilia@msn.com

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