Mastering manners

Students in an etiquette class learn everything they need to know about conducting themselves with style.

[Times photos: Jamie Francis]

Marty Weismantel, left, and Phillip Malecot listen as etiquette teacher Kim Goddard explains how they should take a seat in the lobby of the Don CeSar Beach Resort & Spa in St. Pete Beach. Sit down when you feel the back of your legs touch the front of the chair, she tells them, and be sure to sit straight.

John Everett Doling, left, Zamia Keys and Joel Hernandez look to Kim Goddard as she checks to see that their place settings are correct. Goddard’s etiquette class offers five lessons for kids ages 5 to 12.

ST. PETERSBURG - The 10 students sat upright in their chairs - perfect posture, feet on the floor, hands to themselves.

They are learning their lessons well, but this isn't just any ordinary classroom. These students are at the Don CeSar Beach Resort & Spa well past typical school hours.

They come to the hotel the second Friday of each month from 6 to 9 p.m. to learn about etiquette from Kim Goddard, who has operated Proper Protocol since 1991. "Everything I do is etiquette-based," Goddard said. With the holidays upon us, proper manners at the dinner table are important. On a recent Friday in November, the students were reviewing what they had learned in their first two sessions, before moving on to "body blunders."

So far, the students have learned about posture, how to set a table, the proper way to sit at the table and how to push in their chairs after dinner. Those sound like pretty easy lessons, but Goddard said they are important.

"Parents are in such a rush (that) they don't have the time to teach (their kids) the necessities of life," she said. "From parents it sounds like nagging."

Goddard started the evening's lesson with introductions. Students walked up - with perfect posture, of course - introduced themselves and said what they had learned. Each of the students received individual attention to pinpoint any weak spots.

After the introductions, they said the Pledge of Allegiance, in perfect stance and in perfect unison, clearly enunciating each word. The students were then led on a tour of the Don, using proper etiquette in the elevator and through the floors. When they arrived in the lounge, three male students crowded on a chair while a pair of young women wobbled in their heels. Finally, Goddard stepped in to teach the students a major lesson.

Embarrassed but polite, the three boys got up, offered the two ladies their seat and stood against a pillar to listen to Goddard's lecture. Her lesson: "Do whatever it takes to make people like you."

Goddard said she wants her students to "be so nice it just hurts."

The students then headed back to eat dinner, but before they could sit down to the five-course meal, they had to set the table. Marty Weismantel, 8, a student at Wellington School in St. Petersburg, has learned to do this. Marty's favorite piece of silverware, the fork, found its way to the right place on his table setting.

Before anyone can eat, though, Goddard makes sure each student has the right place setting. Finally, with the bread on the left and the drink on the right, the students waited for Goddard to initiate the feast, because she was the host.

The class learned over dinner that pepper and salt always travel together. The question came up: Why were these students not raising their pinkies while sipping their drinks? The answer, provided by Heather Binder, Goddard's assistant, who is known to everyone as "Ms. Heather," is that pinkies are raised only at "formal dinners when drinking wine."

During the third course, raspberry sherbet, a discussion began about body blunders that some just can't hold in.

Discussing belches, Goddard told the class, "Don't let 'er rip. If you feel it coming out, close your mouth."

"What if it's loud?" said Joel Hernandez, 6, a first-grader at Wellington School. Simply ignore it and move on, Goddard told the students, who range in age from 6 to 10.

After that lesson, Goddard quizzed the students on what they had learned. The students answered the questions correctly, and each received a bag of candy. Then parents came in and heard from the students what they had learned. After each lesson, Goddard asks her students several questions as practice for graduation Jan. 8. That will be the fifth and final lesson of the program.

So when the holidays do arrive, and you happen to be sitting next to your uncle when he shows his appreciation for dinner in an unexpected way, remember to just ignore it.

- Hayley Germack, 15, is in the ninth grade at St. Petersburg High School.

1. Sit up straight at the table (no elbows when you are eating).

2. Put the napkin on your lap immediately.

3. Try a little of everything.

4. Used silverware remains on your plate, never on the table.

5. Do not talk with your mouth full.

6. Use magic words when passing items or leaving the table. "Please pass the peas" and "Thank you," or "Please excuse me for a moment" or "May I be excused?"

7. Don't eat too fast. Pace yourself with the host.

8. The napkin is placed on your chair when you are away from the table for a short period. It is placed on the table when you leave permanently.

9. Don't complain; just compliment.

10. Do not touch your nose, pick your teeth or play with your hair while at the table.

For more information about Kim Goddard's Proper Protocol, visit her Web site at www.properprotocol.com or call 727 517-1967.

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