As you can see, Christmas does something to people.
Dignity, schmignity. People gather 'round the tree on Christmas morning half-dressed, with bed head and bad breath. When they open a gift they like, they shriek. They cheer. They dance around in G-strings and reindeer noses.
And, for some reason, they allow their pictures to be taken.
This behavior, combined with poor lighting and substandard photographic technique, results in some deplorable images. For legal reasons, we can't identify any of the U.S. Supreme Court justices shown above.
Many of you have similar photos pasted into your family albums or hidden away in shoe boxes. It's time to share them. We're sure the people in the pictures won't mind.
Here's how to enter Floridian's Regrettable Christmas Picture Contest:
Send us up to three (3) (trois) (tres) pictures. They should be funny. They should be unfortunate. They should have been taken on Christmas Day, or at a Christmas celebration. If your picture requires an explanation, please include one.
We will publish our favorites on Christmas morning. As always, winners will receive one of the odd items PR firms are always sending us in hopes that we'll write about their clients, except we hardly ever do.
Please tell us your name, the city you live in and your phone number.
TO ENTER BY REGULAR MAIL:
Send your pictures to Regrettable Christmas Picture Contest, Floridian, St. Petersburg Times, P.O. Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731. THIS IS IMPORTANT: If you want your picture returned, include a self-addressed envelope. We'll pay the postage.
TO ENTER BY E-MAIL:
Send large, high resolution scans 200 dpi, for those of you who know what that means to mike@sptimes.com Please write "Picture Contest" in the e-mail's subject line so we can differentiate the entries from all the sales pitches for Vicodin and herbal Viagra.
